I Learned How to Raise Four Kids in College....At a Frat House

I would LOOOOOOVE to say I came up with all of this, but I didn't.  A friend posted a link to this on Facebook, and I laughed and laughed, so I thought I'd copy it and share it here with a few of my own additions.  The original was a Top 10 list, I obviously added some of my own from 11 on.  The original title was "Why Living With a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party,"(From Suburban Snapshots)  but as you can see, I amended that as well to better fit some of my own additions and since my kids are now 8 1/2, 6 1/2, 3 1/2, and 2 years old.

50)   There is no food left in the house even though you went grocery shopping yesterday and no one will admit to eating any of it.

49)   The next morning, no one except you remembers what happened.
48)   Running around in underwear, a weird hat, and rain boots is not in anyway strange
47)   The older ones are always hazing the younger ones.

46)   People are in and out of beds like it's some sort of French farce.

45)   The toilet is never flushed.

44)   The neighbors call the cops because of the noise.
43)   Someone always has "the munchies."
42)   You often find unidentifiable stains on your clothes and have NO IDEA what they are or how they got there.
41)   Someone is telling jokes that don't make sense and everyone is laughing hysterically anyway.

40)   You stop asking what you stepped on. It is better not to know.

39)   Everything is sticky
38)   No one can ever find their shoes.
37)   It is not uncommon for someone to find out - midday - that they are wearing someone else's underwear.

36)   People fall asleep everywhere - the couch, the floor, the chair, the table - at all times of day.

35)   Spinning around and flapping your arms counts as dancing.

34)   At least 10 times somebody will be yelling "Hey, watch this".

33)   If there's a wet spot in the bed at 2AM, you just throw a towel over it or move to the other side.

32)   When you get unexpected company you pray that everyone has pants on.
31)   There is a guy in the next room who can tell you what system, planet, and ship every Star Wars Character is from, and you are praying that NO ONE gets him started on the subject
30)   By early evening, general silliness has broken out and uncontrollable laughter rings out through the house with little apparent cause.

29)   The music is REALLY annoying, but everyone else in the room seems to love it.


28)   Rinsing something out with water and reusing constitutes as washing it.
27)   At any time there is a chance of someone running nude through the house.
26)   You spend hours playing a game you don't understand because it has no discernible rules and is made up of seemingly random components, and then you win and somehow the person you played is naked.
25)   You constantly say things like "Please, don't lick my pants!" and wonder why on earth you would EVER have to say that out loud.

24)   Whenever you sit down some weird guy is RIGHT there, hanging all over you. Not taking a hint.
23)   If you miss a period you are truly horrifying because as you look at your life you realize that you are in know way ready to be a parent (again).
22)   You don't remember the last time you looked at your television set and saw something other than cartoons or video games.
21)   Try as you might, you cannot get people to stop dancing on the furniture.

20)   There's always someone that wants to stay up all night.
19)   No one walks in a straight line and they randomly fall down.

18)   For reasons unknown, there is a half-eaten grilled cheese on the stairs.
17)   The most popular snack food is Pop-Tarts.
16)    People can't climb the stairs without using their hands.
15)   All conversation occurs as though at least one of you has forgotten the language.
14)   Eating utensils are optional.
13)   At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs.

12)   You lie to your mother about what is going on at your place.
11)   You have a TV theme song stuck in your head, and when you start singing it everyone joins in.

10)   There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
9)   There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8)   It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7)   You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone is going to start banging on the door.
6)   Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5)   You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4)   There's definitely going to be a fight.
3)    You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
2)   There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1)   You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.