This Is What I Believe (And I Don't Expect You To Agree)

I've had a post on my mind for a while that will most likely cost me some followers.  It is a very current topic, but I am on the "wrong" side of it as far as society is concerned.  So before I write it, I just want to say -- It's been nice knowing those of you who will be leaving after you read this.  I also want to make clear that this is not meant to be a theological post -- it is a social commentary, and an expression of MY opinions, I am not trying to speak for everyone who has a religious faith (or even everyone who shares my basic beliefs).  But this is my blog, where I express my views and my opinions and this has been nagging at me for a long time.  I wanted to talk about this topic, but I was afraid I would offend some, or possibly all of you and I let that fear control what I wrote.  While I have touched upon this topic in other posts, I always diluted what I wanted to say.  Not today.  Today I will no doubt lose a LOT of followers, but before you go, please read everything I want to say and then think on it first.  I am not being purposefully inflammatory.  I am not trying to pick a fight with any one person or group.  My opinions do not negate yours.  I am not claiming to be right or wrong.  I am not accusing you of anything by disagreeing with me.  I am doing what I claim to always try to do here -- I am honestly expressing myself on a topic that has been in my thoughts more and more recently because of current events.  I will not apologize for having my own opinion, but I do apologize for not being as honest in writing about it in the past as I could have and should have been.  I think that part of the problem is that I was attempting to sneak it into another post.  I don't know why.  I am not ashamed of what I believe and I have no trouble defending it.  I think that part of it is that some people are super easy to offend, and writing something like a blog and putting it out there is a lot different than talking to someone one on one.  Also, as much as I try to prostrate and pretend that I don't care what anyone thinks, I do. I especially care about what you, those who read what I write here on a regular basis think.  And this topic is personal for many of you. 

So what is this topic you ask?  Well, it's homosexuality. 

Let me start by saying as vehemently as I can that I am NOT anti-gay.   I have friends who are gay. I consider them good friends, I have no issues with them being gay and they know how I feel about homosexuality.  (In fact, I had 3 of them read this post before I published it to make sure that I wasn't saying something that I wasn't intending, to make sure that the message that they got from it was in conjunction with what they knew about me and that I had expressed myself as well here as I had in our personal conversations on this topic).   I have made no secret on my blog or in my life that I consider myself a Christian.  I attend church services.  I pray daily. I read the Bible and believe that it is God's Word.  There is no doubt that the Bible is pretty clear that God considers homosexuality a sin, so yes -- I think homosexuality is a sin.  (Some of you will stop reading here.)  I also believe that lying is a sin, adultery is a sin, murder is a sin, sexual immorality is a sin, and countless other things are sins and the Bible tells us that God does not view sin in "degrees" -- we are the ones who tend to assign "values" to sin making one worse than the other. And I am guilty of sin, as are you and everyone else in the world whether they acknowledge it or not. 

I am free to believe that the life we live on this Earth is the result of a loving God who wants us to love Him in return and strive toward the perfect example that He gave us in sending His son, Jesus to die for our sins and you are free to not believe that.  I am free to live my life in pursuit of that and you are free live however you want to.  I am free to interpret His word by my beliefs and my faith, and to identify and worship with others whose interpretations closely match mine and you are free to do that as well or to totally disregard the Bible as an old book.  I cannot make you accept my beliefs and you cannot make me accept yours.  Where the problem lies, is in those people who try to assimilate others to their way of thinking.  I will gladly share my beliefs and share the Word of God where they originate if you are willing to listen and discuss, but I cannot make you "accept" my faith.  You also cannot make me "accept" your point of view. 

We have, as a society, been preaching acceptance for years -- acceptance of religion, acceptance of the lack of religion, acceptance of politics, and acceptance of culture.  "Acceptance" is the wrong word.  We should be teaching "tolerance."  I can tolerate different faiths, differing political views, different lifestyles, and different cultures.  I can tolerate the differences and peacefully coexist.  But you and I cannot force "acceptance" of anything.  Think of it this way -- if you don't like the color brown for example, do you set out to eradicate brown from the world?  Do you try to get others to hate brown as much as you do?  No.  You simply avoid brown in your own life as much as possible.  Should others who love the color brown try to change your mind?  No.  They accept that you don't like brown and continue with their own lives regardless of how you feel about it.  You have to learn to tolerate brown, but no one can force you to accept it as a great color.  I can tolerate lying, adultery, homosexuality -- in fact, I believe that the Bible teaches us as Christians that we live in a world where we will be exposed to and have to tolerate all sorts of sin.  We (as Christians) are instructed to spread the message to those who have not heard it, we are to teach it to our children, and we are to strive to live it, but no where in the Bible are we told to force it on others.  We are instructed to point out these sins to our brothers and sisters in Christ, but even then we are to do so "in love."  When people of the same faith come together and form a congregation, then they become to some degree responsible for each other's salvation (this instruction is in the book of James for those interested).  Think of it sort of like when friends decide to team up to start a diet together, we team up to help each other "stay on the straight and narrow" so to speak.  If you and I are dieting together and you "sin" by eating a doughnut, as your diet partner, it is my responsibility to call you out on it as a violation of what we are trying to accomplish together.  If some random stranger is eating a doughnut, it is NOT my responsibility to corner them and list all of the ways that they are harming their body by eating that doughnut.  It is also not my responsibility to hand out anti-doughnut propaganda, to organize anti-doughnut rallies, or to scream obscenities and spew hate at those who choose to eat doughnuts.  Now, I can rationally defend my point of view about the doughnut, but chances are that in today's society, the person eating it knows full well that it is not health food and has chosen to eat it anyway.  That is their business and their right, just as it is my right to NOT eat doughnuts.

In this country in particular, there are very few people who have no idea what is in the Bible.  Some have chosen to accept it as the Word of God, some believe that it is the Word of God but believe that it needs to be reinterpreted as more culturally relevant, and some have decided that it is not anything but a book of old stories and take and leave from it what they want.  Where we have problems is when any of these groups try to force their beliefs onto another group. 

Let me ask a question to those who are chomping at the bit to finish reading so you can comment and tell me that I am a hateful bigot for saying that homosexuality is a sin:  Why are your beliefs okay to talk about, but mine aren't?  Why is it okay to speak out against a religious belief but not okay to speak up for it?  Do we not all live in a country where we are free to believe whatever we want?  Is my opinion somehow less valid?  The unpopular truth is that it's not.  Those who disagree with you have every right to their opinion (and the right to express and defend it) as you do. 

Now, having said all of that, let me point out that while the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin, so is hate.  I don't hate gay people -- as I stated before, I have gay friends that I love.  They are very nice people who just happen to hold different beliefs than I do.  We disagree.  But we are still friends and we can have open dialog about our beliefs without feeling judged or persecuted.  I don't believe that just because two people have vastly different beliefs that they cannot be friends.  I also have Muslim friends, Jewish friends, Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic friends, Buddhist friends, Mormon friends, atheist friends and Wiccan friends -- none of us agree on everything spiritual, political, or even on what's socially acceptable.  Yet we all love each other and value what the other brings to the relationship -- a different point of view.  None of us advocate alienation, violence, or hateful talk.  Words like "fag" and "queer" are not part of our vernacular.  And I completely understand how homosexuals are offended by those who make signs, shout insults, and take to the streets in rallies against their chosen lifestyle or call for violence against homosexuals (or any other group).  What I do not understand, is how some do not understand that Christians can become equally offended when certain groups mirror that behavior and take to the streets in protest of us having faith in a religion that does not support their lifestyle.  It is a double standard. The problem is, we are all so busy screaming at each other to "accept" the other's point of view that we have quit listening. 

This is what I have come to realize -- there are nut jobs on both sides of any issue.  They do not really want to coexist or to have tolerance.  They actually want more than even acceptance.  What they really want and in many cases demand,  is for EVERYONE to not just tolerate or accept, but SUPPORT and PROMOTE their beliefs, opinions, lifestyles and religions. They mock, reprimand, degrade, and hate on those who do not see things from their perspective.  It is the same on both sides with the extremists -- lots of shouting and name calling in an attempt to be heard and to get their point across and absolutely no attempt to listen.  And those of us who are quiet, those of us who can openly discuss without anger or hate, are lumped in with the nuts.  It is how stereotypes are born.  It is how prejudices are formed.  And it is how hatred is bred into future generations. 



I am no authority.  I am also done being silent.



We need to quit letting the nuts speak for us.  We need to coexist and teach tolerance to each other and to future generations.  I can be your neighbor, your co-worker, and your friend without supporting your choices.  Sure, it is nice to be around people who think and believe what we do, but it is also great to be able to learn from each other.  I am reminded of a great old saying -- "It is because we are so different that we have so much to share."  I hope that those of you who wish to share your opinions and thoughts with me either through the comments or in an email.  I will not delete comments unless they are hateful.

But in the meantime....