Kids Will Be Kids, If We Will Only Let Them

In case y'all didn't know, I'm sort of a last minute kind of gal. So this afternoon, I took a little trip around to a few very popular department stores to look for Easter outfits for my kids. 

Very disappointing.  More on that in a minute.....

Recently, there has been a lot of hoopla about the new Victoria Secret line of underwear -- "Bright Young Things" -- that is targeted toward young girls.  YOUNG girls.  Like, teens and even TWEENAGE girls.  These underwear have sexually suggestive messages emblazoned on them -- across the butt or on the crotch.  Things like "Feeling Lucky?"  "I Dare You" and "Call Me".  When the story broke, I was appalled like everyone else -- thinking "Who in their right mind markets sex to kids??!"  Then I heard Victoria's Secret come out in total denial saying that their "Bright Young Things" line was part of their PINK line, for college aged girls, and I thought "Oh, well, that's a little different."  But, then again, I saw Justin Beiber performing on their televised underwear parade -- an endorsement for all of his 7-15 year old fans?  Perhaps.  And I saw this quote: 

“When somebody’s 15 or 16 years old, what do they want to be?” Chief Financial Officer Stuart Burgdoerfer said at a conference in January. “They want to be older, and they want to be cool like the girl in college, and that’s part of the magic of what we do at PINK.”
 

Wait -- so the PINK line IS marketed to 15-16 year olds, then?  Not JUST to 19-24 year olds?  You mean they LIED??  Shocking.  And wait a minute -- why is it okay to give college aged women this twisted view of sex and what is attractive?  Sure they are a little older, but underwear that delivers messages to potential partners (because let's be honest, who else is going to see your underwear)??  Why would you need "Call me" on the front of your thong? Will he NOT call unless your underwear tells him to?  And while we are at it, let's discuss just how juvenille it is to have messages written on your underwear at all.  To take something childish, like words on your underwear, and use it to convey a sexually suggestive message, marketed towards people who are stradling both worlds trying to find their adult identities, is wrong. 

So I decided that it I don't think it's all that cool for Victoria's Secret to be marketing casual sex to college aged girls either. 

Not just because my kids look up to them, but because NO WOMAN should feel that any molecule of their worth hinges on anything other than what is in her head and in her heart -- especially not underwear with messages written on them.  (Oh, and please don't get your panties in a wad and start hurling rebuttals at me about how "a girl over 18 who is comfortable with her body should feel free to explore her sexuality" nonsense.  I am not suggesting a chastity belt for your "sexually aware" 18 year old if you want them to "explore" -- although I might consider one for my daughters).  I am suggesting, however, that we teach our daughters that their beauty, their desirability, or their worth is not tied to a pair of zebra print cheeksters. 

There is nothing wrong with wearing pretty underwear -- I always feel more confident, more dressed up, more together, prettier, and all sorts of other good things when my bra and panties have lace or some other pretty design, and they match each other (and let's face it, at nearly 40 years old and with 4 kids, I take my confidence boosts where I can get them).  And there is nothing wrong with a thong -- certain fashions look better on the outside if there is no pantyline (even though I have never found one I thought of as comfortable, and we all know that I am a comfort girl).  But pretty, and even sexy, should not be synonymous with "skanky" no matter how old you are -- underwear with messages like "Wild Thing" or "I dare you" emblazoned across the front of the crotch are not sexy.  And they cheapen young women, not empower them.  Do you want to know what is sexy?  Confidence. 

You cannot convey confidence with "Call me" written on your crotch.

So, basically, I was disgusted by this most recent attack on women's sexuality, but I thought "Don't buy slutty underwear for your 11 year old, prepare your kids for their sexuality, and shop elsewhere -- problem solved."  I mean, it's not like they don't still sell Hanes at Target.

But then I went to try and find some pretty dresses for Easter at Target.  And at Kohl's.  And I found that they no longer sell pretty dresses for little girls.  They sell sequined, spandex, and strapless dresses.  They sell voluminous taffeta and velvet dresses.  They sell clingy, rayon, mini-dresses.  All in NEON.  But I could not find EVEN ONE pretty, pastel or white dress for Easter.  And I wondered "Where IS the nightclub for 6 year olds?" because that is what these clothes look like.  I want to dress my girls in pretty things that are age appropriate, and it appears that the market for that is disappearing.  Are we really in such a hurry for our girls to grow up?  Do we want them dressing like the cast of "Sex in the City" on their way to Sunday School?

SERIOUSLY?

I need something for Easter Sunday, not a night at the Roxbury.

So as much as I disagree with it, I can't really be mad at Victoria's Secret.  They are doing what any good business would do -- they are capitalizing on what is apparently a rising trend of sexualizing our kids.  They are selling the sexy underthings to go with the sexy outer things that are everywhere in sizes 4-12, because that is the next step, right?  I mean, if you dress your 4 year old in spandex and sequins for church, don't be surprised if they want a thong at 11. 

But I am mad at the industry.  Not because they make sexy clothes for 3rd graders -- that is their prerogative, and there will always be someone who will buy them (and sequins have their time and place, even in an 8 year old's life).  I am mad because there is quickly becoming no other option for moms like me who want to dress my kids like, well, like kids.  I'd like a pretty spring dress with a ribbon at the waist that balloons out when she twirls making her face light up and causing the giggles to start.  I want my 6 year old in Mary Janes and lace trimmed socks, not spike heeled sandals. 

I want them to feel pretty because THEY ARE PRETTY and not because they are wrapped in sequins or spandex & up on stilts. 

There will be a time for that, but they should be out of elementary school before that time comes.  Kids should be free to be kids.  If they are dressing like extras from "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" at 6 and 7, what are they going to do for prom when they are 16-17?  All of the magic of those fancy special occasion clothes will have been spent years before.  I for one do not want to rob my kids of that because I remember how amazing it felt to dress up in shiny, sparkly things for a special occassion.  It was wonderful.

So let's let our kids be kids for as long as we can.  They will have to spend their whole lives as adults, but they're childhood is fleeting. 

As for their underwear, when the time comes to abandon the white cotton Hanes, when they are older, and need bras (note, I said NEED -- despite Target, Kohl's, Wal-Mart, and other stores trying to sell them to my 9 year old), I will take them shopping for something frilly, girly, and pretty.  I will help them find something that they are comfortable in, that makes them feel confident, and that will work with the clothes that they wear.  And there will not be a single message written across the crotch or across the butt.

Another Political Rant

I have had a lot on my mind lately about the way the events of 9/11 are being recognized.  I know exactly where I was that day -- I was getting onto I-85 in Buford, GA on my way to have an ultrasound for my first child.  It was my husband's birthday, as well as my dad's, and I had just gotten off of the phone with my mom who told me that my dad was en route to Washington DC for work when the news came on the radio.  The initial impression was that this was an accident -- not a terrorist attack, so while I was horrified for those involved, there was no fear yet.  By the time I reached the doctor's office, the second plane had hit and there was speculation forming about what was going on.  Then we heard about the Pentagon, and I began to think of my dad who was "en route" to Washington.  Then the 4th plane went down and I began obsessively switching from CNN, to NBC, to Fox News looking for ANY new information.  Panic doesn't really begin to describe that feeling.  Fear is a short word with heavy meaning that I never fully understood until that day.  It was afternoon before I got through to my mom who told me my dad was safe.  But even then, I knew that there were thousands who were personally effected by these tragedies, even if I had been lucky enough to have not lost anyone.  The coming days and weeks were full of stories of tragedy, heroism, loss, and rescues.  There was hope, and lost hope, and this country went on an emotional roller coaster ride that I do not believe any of us will ever forget or would want to repeat.  There were images of people celebrating this attack in other countries -- dancing in the street chanting "Death to America," and there were little children who were being taught to trample and burn our flag by their parents.  Those images made me angry.  Angry at any country who celebrated the tragic death of innocent men, women, and children and thought that it somehow proved that we were infidels and that "Allah" was on their side and not ours.  That anger took a long time to dissipate.

Some people in our country are still holding onto that anger.  They spout off without thinking at the drop of a hat, and go into tirades about the Muslims, the Arabs, the terrorists as if they are all one in the same.  While I relish the fact that we live in a free country, and I understand that the Freedom of Speech applies to everyone (even those who make an ass out of themselves every time they open their mouths), I believe that this particular freedom is frequently abused.  The men most directly responsible for the terrorist attacks on our country died along with their victims.  Many of those who helped to facilitate those attacks have been captured or killed in the War on Terror.  As for the thousands, or perhaps millions, who relish in America's pain...well, they have their own pain.  They live in countries where their freedoms are few, their luxuries far between, and their "government" cares little (if anything) about their plight.  I learned in elementary school that you cannot make everyone love you -- or even LIKE you -- so it should come as no surprise that there are countries out there who do not think America is awesome the way that I do.  However, the key is the same with countries as it is with a 7 year old -- you may not like them, but you have to share the classroom.  So while I do not believe that we can force them to like us and our lifestyles and our religions and our way of life, I KNOW that we have to coexist with them. 

So why, would ANYONE in their right mind think that burning the Koran would accomplish anything other than inciting more anger and hatred?  I am not suggesting that we all hold hands and sing "Kumba Ya" or get together for a picnic, but how is burning the sacred text of Islam going to help anyone move forward?  How would this Pastor Jones feel if a Muslim group recommended that everyone burn a Bible on December 25th?  It is ludicrous.  On the flip-side, why would anyone think that it would be a good idea to build a mosque on Ground Zero?  I personally believe that that is sacred ground -- not "religious" sacred, but patriotically sacred.  It belongs to our nation -- not to the Baptists, the Catholics, the Mormons, the Jews or the Muslims.  NO church should be allowed to build there.  The men who caused all of that mayhem, death, and grief did so in the name of Islam.  And while "true" Islam (as I understand it) does not support their actions, they did what they did in the "Name of Allah."  Building a mosque on that site would be like building a Nazi Cultural Center at Auschwitz -- completely inappropriate.

And that is my rant for the day.

God bless th USA and may He be with all of the men and women who serve this country and often die to protect the freedoms that we so often misuse and abuse.

Political Rant (Try Not to Be Offended)

This is the 4th blog I have started about the presidential address last week and current state of our great nation, and if it weren't for the delete and backspace buttons, I would probably be on some sort of extremist watch list.  I got so aggrevated watching Obama's press conference last week, and I get increasingly annoyed by the liberal views in Washington.  I am feeling a little better after 4 personal rants to myself, but it has brought me to another, related subject:  Why is it that because I am a Southern, white, Christian, I am automatically a racist bigot?  Have you noticed that the liberals in this country are all for free speech unless what you say is "As a Christian, I oppose abortion, and same-sex marriage, and here are the passages from the Bible to support my views?"  They do not recognize the authority of the Bible, so they say that none of what it says is relevant.  Well, I disagree.  I say that MY opinion is just as important as theirs (isn't THAT what they are arguing for?) and doesn't MY voice deserve to be heard?  That is the problem with equal rights -- they are EQUAL.  If I have to listen to you drone on and on about how it is a woman's choice, not a life, or how government should step in and get everyone a job, a car, and a house, or how gays should be allowed this that and the other, then you cannot complain when I quote scriptures and disagree with you.

And let me say this:  As long as the choice does not have an impact upon me or any other human life, I don't oppose it.  I believe homosexulity is a sin -- it is one of those black and white issues from the Bible, it is not open to interpretation.  If you are gay, and believe in the Bible, then I do not know how you reconcile that, but that is between you and God.  Am I politiacally or socially against gay marriage?  Not really.  I know it is going to happen.  I fear the long term consequences on our schools when the family ideas are challenged to accomodate same sex couples and how I will have to explain that to my kids, but beyond that, it does not effect me -- I am not God, so I pass no judgement.  As for my stance on abortion, I am vehemently opposed to it.  I consider it a life at the moment of conception, so to me it is murder.  Would you expect me to not protest murder?  Now, I do NOT understand the people that bomb abortion clinics or shoot abortion doctors, since that is also murder.  I guess that I am anti-abortion, but I am also anti-Extreme-Anti-Abortionists....
I have a serious issue with this concept that the Government is supposed to take care of all my problems.  Since Uncle Sam doesn't have any money that We The People do not give him in the form of taxes, I am slightly offended by these programs that pay for mortgages, cars, and even cell phones for people who do not work.  Now, don't go get on your soap boxes about those that cannot help their situations, I am not talking about them.  But I do not understand why the lady at the grocery store used food stamps to pay for groceries with her obviously manicured and blinged out hand and then put said groceries into an Escalade while chatting the whole time on her i-Phone (meanwhile I am digging in my purse for my Kroger card, my coupons, and my CASH to pay for my groceries).  When we couldn't sell our house in Georgia after we moved here to Texas, I made it work for as long as I could then we let the house go.  We looked into government programs, but there were none.  So we cut our expenses down to next to nothing, we sold stuff on Craigslist, we cut coupons, and we did WITHOUT.  It wasn't enough.  We lost the house.  And the world kept on spinning.  We had a very high opinion of ourselves and our "stuff" and God shook our lives up and taught us a lesson about humility, necessity, and ingenuity.    If you give people everything that they need, they will not only not appreciate all that they have, they will cease trying to get anything for themselves.  Very few people will refuse the things that the government provides in order to get to work and get better things for themselves.  And it is contagious -- the children and the neighbors see that the government is providing people with everything that others are working for, and they wonder why they should work.  If you think I am wrong, look at the statistics of welfare and other government aid programs 50 years ago and today.  Look at how many people started out on welfare and got off of it 50 years ago and those today.  Look at just how many MORE programs there are now -- it is ridiculous.  Here is the bottom line -- we are a selfish, snobby, country who thinks that the world owes us something when we used to be a God fearing nation who helped ourselves. 
I have a whole other post in my head now, so I better stop there before I get going again.  Please pray for our country and its leaders.