This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....
Monday, December 19, 2011
Here's What I've Decided....
The truth is, as mad as my kids make me sometimes, they are (in general) awesome. And it is not their fault that we are stuck in Texas this year. It is just one of those things. I think that the list is a great idea, it works with any budget (even our limited one this year) and it is an awesome guideline to keep from going overboard. Even when I'm feeling guilty about them (and me) missing out on all of the Alabama fun.
My mom is constantly telling me that "Happiness is a choice" but lately I guess that I have decided to not be happy, because I've been a Grinch about Christmas. Everything that my kids wanted was out of our budget (heck, everything that me and my husband wanted was out of our budget) and I found myself wallowing in self pity about everything we COULDN'T have or that we COULDN'T do. It occurred to me that I'm not practicing what I preach with my kids. I tell them all of the time that "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Well, truth is, we've got quite a lot.
And you know what? It will be okay. We will still have a good Christmas. No, it will be a GREAT Christmas. I've decided. Period.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Little Bit Naughty
Well, after all of my self-pity last week, Jackson had to remind me that I have other things to be worrying about.
Then Friday night, he found an envelope of hot chocolate mix, tore it open, dumped it on the couch and ate all of the little dehydrated marshmallows out of it. Now every time I vacuum it smells like cocoa. While I was playing on the computer, he went to the kitchen, used a step stool to climb up onto the counter, opened the cabinet, and proceeded to finish of an entire bag of mini-marshmallows.
And yesterday, he drank syrup straight from the bottle and got it all over his shirt.
This kid's quest for sugar is never ending.
And, just now, I caught him in the kitchen again. He had gotten into the fridge and was standing there with the door open, spraying "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray into his mouth. He is such a little freak. And he gets into stuff that the other 3 never even thought of.
Then Friday night, he found an envelope of hot chocolate mix, tore it open, dumped it on the couch and ate all of the little dehydrated marshmallows out of it. Now every time I vacuum it smells like cocoa. While I was playing on the computer, he went to the kitchen, used a step stool to climb up onto the counter, opened the cabinet, and proceeded to finish of an entire bag of mini-marshmallows.
And yesterday, he drank syrup straight from the bottle and got it all over his shirt.
This kid's quest for sugar is never ending.
And, just now, I caught him in the kitchen again. He had gotten into the fridge and was standing there with the door open, spraying "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray into his mouth. He is such a little freak. And he gets into stuff that the other 3 never even thought of.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Stuck On The Dark Side -- And There Are No Cookies
I am in a funk again.
I'm in a funk because my kid is having surgery, which is eating up all of our Christmas money and preventing me from going home to be with the rest of my crazy family or see my friends. And yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.
But I can't show it to my kids -- especially not the oldest girl who is having the surgery.
I have to be the happy, bubbly, optimistic mom who is thrilled to be making new traditions instead of celebrating the perfectly good traditions that have been in place for 37 years. I have to pretend that it is okay that I am forfeiting one of 2 trips "home" to Alabama a year. I have to fake being excited about making my own breakfast pizza on Christmas morning and not having homemade oatmeal raisin cookies that my mom made. I had to tell my parents and my in-laws not to buy gifts for my husband or myself, because the only thing we need is money for my daughter's surgery. Don't get me wrong -- we are not destitute or anything, but it just seems like every freaking year we have some major expense. One year , we moved from Georgia to Texas, one year we had Jackson and a tubal, one year the girls had their tonsils out, one year the husband had a mastoidectomy (they cut off his ear and removed a bone in his ear canal), and EVERY year, we spend thousands of dollars on a lost cause -- the van.
I'm having trouble finding the bright side, and I'm having trouble faking it.
I want to go home for Christmas, but it just isn't possible this year.
It's not just that.
I will miss the giving and getting of super awesome, jaw-dropping gifts. I know that Christmas is not about the gifts, but I LOVE giving presents. I love the look on my friends' and families' faces as they get something that they weren't expecting -- especially my kids. I put a lot of thought into the gifts I choose to give. I am not a big "gift card" person and I don't like the generic gifts. I like for the gifts to be something that the recipient REALLY wants -- their favorite wine, the perfect accessory for their favorite outfit, a bootleg CD of their favorite artist -- you get the idea. And we usually do a couple of angels off of the Angel trees, but not this year (yes, the surgery is THAT expensive). This year, we are seriously budget conscious. We are always budget conscious. It gets old.
And I would be a total liar if I said I didn't also love getting presents. I mean, its not that I was expecting a new min-van (although I could really use one to replace my 1999 Town and Country), but Christmas is usually the ONE time a year that we are a little frivolous. Christmas is the one time of year that we cheat a little on the budget and try to get whatever usually seems just out of reach. Christmas is the one time of year when I can expect something like a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure, or to get my inch long roots attended to, or a nice pair of earrings or a sweater or something else that I would never buy for myself. Before the news of the surgery and medical bill that is coming along with it, the hubby was going to get me a netbook. But not now. Now I'll probably get a candle and some bath salts from the kids and nothing from the hubby. And the parents and in-laws usually do even MORE for us -- I mean, there is usually the practical stuff -- a grocery and/or gas card, a Costco membership, a little cash to help meet that renewed deductible -- but then there are the extravagant gifts too -- a cashmere sweater, jewelry, electronics, etc. And I love getting the helpful things and I really love getting the gifts that I would never get for myself. I was going to ask for a Nook or a Kindle, but instead this year, I'm getting help with a medical bill. YAAaaaay.......
So, in an attempt to snap myself out of this funktastic funk, the hubby and I are going to exchange a special "gift"with one another. We are going to make a list of things that we'd like to get each other, accompanied by a statement of what we are thankful for in one another. I don't mean the things that we would NEVER buy -- no Tuscan Villas or private islands -- but stuff we wish we had the money for this year. For example, I wish I could replace his 1997 Buick Le Sabre with a newer, nicer car. But I am thankful for him working a job that he doesn't like so that I can stay home with our kids. He might say that he wishes he could get me a netbook to write on so that I didn't have to worry about the computer locking up on me every time I try to write a blog, or a new camera, or that Nook or Kindle I wanted. It's hard to stay all sad and cynical when you are thinking of things you are thankful for. And I really WANT to be happy. I want to be appreciative of the fact that my daughter's knee problem is fixable and not all that serious. I want to be thankful of all of my many, many blessings.
But for now, I seem to be stuck here on the dark side. In Texas. With no homemade oatmeal-raisin cookies.
I'm in a funk because my kid is having surgery, which is eating up all of our Christmas money and preventing me from going home to be with the rest of my crazy family or see my friends. And yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.
But I can't show it to my kids -- especially not the oldest girl who is having the surgery.
I have to be the happy, bubbly, optimistic mom who is thrilled to be making new traditions instead of celebrating the perfectly good traditions that have been in place for 37 years. I have to pretend that it is okay that I am forfeiting one of 2 trips "home" to Alabama a year. I have to fake being excited about making my own breakfast pizza on Christmas morning and not having homemade oatmeal raisin cookies that my mom made. I had to tell my parents and my in-laws not to buy gifts for my husband or myself, because the only thing we need is money for my daughter's surgery. Don't get me wrong -- we are not destitute or anything, but it just seems like every freaking year we have some major expense. One year , we moved from Georgia to Texas, one year we had Jackson and a tubal, one year the girls had their tonsils out, one year the husband had a mastoidectomy (they cut off his ear and removed a bone in his ear canal), and EVERY year, we spend thousands of dollars on a lost cause -- the van.
I'm having trouble finding the bright side, and I'm having trouble faking it.
I want to go home for Christmas, but it just isn't possible this year.
It's not just that.
I will miss the giving and getting of super awesome, jaw-dropping gifts. I know that Christmas is not about the gifts, but I LOVE giving presents. I love the look on my friends' and families' faces as they get something that they weren't expecting -- especially my kids. I put a lot of thought into the gifts I choose to give. I am not a big "gift card" person and I don't like the generic gifts. I like for the gifts to be something that the recipient REALLY wants -- their favorite wine, the perfect accessory for their favorite outfit, a bootleg CD of their favorite artist -- you get the idea. And we usually do a couple of angels off of the Angel trees, but not this year (yes, the surgery is THAT expensive). This year, we are seriously budget conscious. We are always budget conscious. It gets old.
And I would be a total liar if I said I didn't also love getting presents. I mean, its not that I was expecting a new min-van (although I could really use one to replace my 1999 Town and Country), but Christmas is usually the ONE time a year that we are a little frivolous. Christmas is the one time of year that we cheat a little on the budget and try to get whatever usually seems just out of reach. Christmas is the one time of year when I can expect something like a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure, or to get my inch long roots attended to, or a nice pair of earrings or a sweater or something else that I would never buy for myself. Before the news of the surgery and medical bill that is coming along with it, the hubby was going to get me a netbook. But not now. Now I'll probably get a candle and some bath salts from the kids and nothing from the hubby. And the parents and in-laws usually do even MORE for us -- I mean, there is usually the practical stuff -- a grocery and/or gas card, a Costco membership, a little cash to help meet that renewed deductible -- but then there are the extravagant gifts too -- a cashmere sweater, jewelry, electronics, etc. And I love getting the helpful things and I really love getting the gifts that I would never get for myself. I was going to ask for a Nook or a Kindle, but instead this year, I'm getting help with a medical bill. YAAaaaay.......
So, in an attempt to snap myself out of this funktastic funk, the hubby and I are going to exchange a special "gift"with one another. We are going to make a list of things that we'd like to get each other, accompanied by a statement of what we are thankful for in one another. I don't mean the things that we would NEVER buy -- no Tuscan Villas or private islands -- but stuff we wish we had the money for this year. For example, I wish I could replace his 1997 Buick Le Sabre with a newer, nicer car. But I am thankful for him working a job that he doesn't like so that I can stay home with our kids. He might say that he wishes he could get me a netbook to write on so that I didn't have to worry about the computer locking up on me every time I try to write a blog, or a new camera, or that Nook or Kindle I wanted. It's hard to stay all sad and cynical when you are thinking of things you are thankful for. And I really WANT to be happy. I want to be appreciative of the fact that my daughter's knee problem is fixable and not all that serious. I want to be thankful of all of my many, many blessings.
But for now, I seem to be stuck here on the dark side. In Texas. With no homemade oatmeal-raisin cookies.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Fa-La-La-La-La, Wah, Wah, Wah, WAH!
Sorry its been more than a week since my last post, but it has been one heck of a week. My in-laws came for Thanksgiving and stayed through Sunday. I realized that I have somehow managed to lose my charger for my digital SLR camera, and I have looked EVERYWHERE. Monday I had to fast for a procedure that I had on Tuesday, and the husband switched back to 3rd shift (that's right, after a full 4 weeks on 1st shift, they have now rotated him to 3rd). Also on Monday, we had to take the nearly 8 year old to the doctor about her swollen knee, and ultimately had to take her for an MRI where we discovered that she had a torn meniscus. Tuesday, I had a procedure all morning and spent the afternoon in the bed. Wednesday and Thursday were normal craziness made a little nuttier by the addition of Vicodin, and then Friday happened.
On Friday, the 2 oldest went to school like always, but I knew that I had to pick up Bella to take her to the orthopedic surgeon later that afternoon. Now, in an attempt to expedite this process in the hopes that whatever needed to be done for her knee could be handled before January 1st when the insurance resets and out huge deductible starts over, I agreed to take her to the doctor's OTHER office. The main office is in Fort Worth, about 20 minutes away. The "other " office is in Hurst. I had no idea where Hurst was exactly, but according to Mapquest, it was about 35 minutes away and I said that it was worth it. Her appointment was at 2:45, so I planned to check her out of school about 1:30 (just in case) and to give us plenty of time to get there and complete any necessary paperwork and such. (I really wanted to fool this new doctor's office into thinking that I was a super-responsible parent and not the slacker that I really am). So with the younger 2 in tow, I got to the school and signed out my daughter. We got about 10 minutes away from the school when they called to let me know that the oldest had just thrown up all over the place. (He was supposed to go home with his best friend). Soooo, we turned around and went back to the school to get him, putting us off our schedule by nearly 30 minutes. Then, turns out that Mapquest's 35 minute estimate was off by at least 10 minutes and there was Friday afternoon traffic to contend with so we were pushing it to get there on-time, and we ended up being about 5 minutes late. Oh well, better to not give the office any false hope of future performance on my part.
The doctor informed us that her meniscus in her knee is malformed, and that is probably why it tore. It is supposed to be a thin C-shaped thing under her kneecap but hers is a thick disc. They will have to do a laproscopic procedure to go in and trim away the excess of the disc and make it the C-shape that it is supposed to be. The thickness of it cannot be fixed. And her other knee, that isn't torn (yet) has the same malformity. They will not do anything to it unless it also tears someday. The problem is, that many children who need orthopedic surgeries schedule it for the 2 weeks at the end of the year when school is already out, so we won't know until Monday if they can get us in before the end of the year or not. If they CAN fit her in, then we cannot go home to Alabama for Christmas because it would be bad to try to make her ride in a car for 13 hours. If they cannot fit us in, then she will have to have the surgery after the first of the year when our deductible starts over and the surgery will cost us about $1,500 MORE than it will before the end of the year, and we really shouldn't spend the money that it would take to make the 1,500 mile round trip to go home for Christmas.
So we will be having our first Christmas in Texas.
Crap.
If you read my post from before Thanksgiving, you know that I have not decorated for Christmas in 5 years. Not since Christmas 2006, before we moved here from Georgia. We moved over the Holidays in 2007, so I did not put up a tree that year. I have/had a very nice artificial tree. It has been in a box for 5 years. We will most likely have to replace it. We have lights and ornaments, but the lights probably don't work anymore. We figure that we are going to have to spend about $300 to make this happen. But creating that Christmas vibe that my kids are used to having from the decorations at their grandparents homes is worth it.
In addition to having to worry about the safety of my child as she undergoes the knee surgery, the major medical bills that will be coming regardless of when the surgery happens, and all of the hassle of having toun-wrapped presents from Santa, eat our traditional Christmas morning breakfast pizza, settle into the den around the tree with fresh cups of coffee to watch as everyone rips into the 5 gazillion wrapped presents under the tree. As soon as that madness is over, we get dressed and drive the 6 or 7 miles to my husband's parents house where the cycle repeats. Santa must be confused because he also leaves my kids stockings over there. Then there are 500 more presents from Grandma and Papa Raffy, and we eat again -- a huge spread of ham, rice, green beans, and tons of other stuff, followed by a traditional Puerto Rican Flan for dessert. At some point after Christmas Day, we travel south to Tuscaloosa where we spend the day with my great-aunt Martha. No presents at this feast, but what a feast. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash casserole, green beans, fresh rolls, and at least one dessert choice per person -- sugar cookies that melt on your tongue, moist oatmeal raisin cookies, red velvet cake, chocolate pie, pecan pie, lemon meringue pie, hot fruit compote, pumpkin pie, and at least one other type of cookie, cake or pie to choose from. I usually gain about 5 pounds over the Christmas holidays.
But I will miss all of that this year.
To add insult to injury, other than the purchases I made here on Small Business Saturday, I ordered all of our Christmas presents online....and shipped them to Alabama. I decided that it would be easier than trying to hide them here for weeks and pack them into the car without being seen with the kids. Craptastic. I guess that is what happens when I try to be efficient and plan ahead.
And I cannot let my incredibly sensitive daughter know how sad it makes me to be missing out on my Alabama Christmas because she already feels like not going to Alabama is her fault thanks to her incredibly insensitive big brother who said "Thanks a lot Bella" when we informed our kids that we will not be making the trip "home."
So today we are getting ready to go out and find our Holiday Cheer, and I find myself wishing that some of those Facebook friends who finished decorating their houses and doing all of their Christmas shopping right after Halloween were here to help me.
Hey, you can help make my Christmas a little bit better, by voting for me! Click that little brown button and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! :)
On Friday, the 2 oldest went to school like always, but I knew that I had to pick up Bella to take her to the orthopedic surgeon later that afternoon. Now, in an attempt to expedite this process in the hopes that whatever needed to be done for her knee could be handled before January 1st when the insurance resets and out huge deductible starts over, I agreed to take her to the doctor's OTHER office. The main office is in Fort Worth, about 20 minutes away. The "other " office is in Hurst. I had no idea where Hurst was exactly, but according to Mapquest, it was about 35 minutes away and I said that it was worth it. Her appointment was at 2:45, so I planned to check her out of school about 1:30 (just in case) and to give us plenty of time to get there and complete any necessary paperwork and such. (I really wanted to fool this new doctor's office into thinking that I was a super-responsible parent and not the slacker that I really am). So with the younger 2 in tow, I got to the school and signed out my daughter. We got about 10 minutes away from the school when they called to let me know that the oldest had just thrown up all over the place. (He was supposed to go home with his best friend). Soooo, we turned around and went back to the school to get him, putting us off our schedule by nearly 30 minutes. Then, turns out that Mapquest's 35 minute estimate was off by at least 10 minutes and there was Friday afternoon traffic to contend with so we were pushing it to get there on-time, and we ended up being about 5 minutes late. Oh well, better to not give the office any false hope of future performance on my part.
The doctor informed us that her meniscus in her knee is malformed, and that is probably why it tore. It is supposed to be a thin C-shaped thing under her kneecap but hers is a thick disc. They will have to do a laproscopic procedure to go in and trim away the excess of the disc and make it the C-shape that it is supposed to be. The thickness of it cannot be fixed. And her other knee, that isn't torn (yet) has the same malformity. They will not do anything to it unless it also tears someday. The problem is, that many children who need orthopedic surgeries schedule it for the 2 weeks at the end of the year when school is already out, so we won't know until Monday if they can get us in before the end of the year or not. If they CAN fit her in, then we cannot go home to Alabama for Christmas because it would be bad to try to make her ride in a car for 13 hours. If they cannot fit us in, then she will have to have the surgery after the first of the year when our deductible starts over and the surgery will cost us about $1,500 MORE than it will before the end of the year, and we really shouldn't spend the money that it would take to make the 1,500 mile round trip to go home for Christmas.
So we will be having our first Christmas in Texas.
Crap.
If you read my post from before Thanksgiving, you know that I have not decorated for Christmas in 5 years. Not since Christmas 2006, before we moved here from Georgia. We moved over the Holidays in 2007, so I did not put up a tree that year. I have/had a very nice artificial tree. It has been in a box for 5 years. We will most likely have to replace it. We have lights and ornaments, but the lights probably don't work anymore. We figure that we are going to have to spend about $300 to make this happen. But creating that Christmas vibe that my kids are used to having from the decorations at their grandparents homes is worth it.
In addition to having to worry about the safety of my child as she undergoes the knee surgery, the major medical bills that will be coming regardless of when the surgery happens, and all of the hassle of having toun-wrapped presents from Santa, eat our traditional Christmas morning breakfast pizza, settle into the den around the tree with fresh cups of coffee to watch as everyone rips into the 5 gazillion wrapped presents under the tree. As soon as that madness is over, we get dressed and drive the 6 or 7 miles to my husband's parents house where the cycle repeats. Santa must be confused because he also leaves my kids stockings over there. Then there are 500 more presents from Grandma and Papa Raffy, and we eat again -- a huge spread of ham, rice, green beans, and tons of other stuff, followed by a traditional Puerto Rican Flan for dessert. At some point after Christmas Day, we travel south to Tuscaloosa where we spend the day with my great-aunt Martha. No presents at this feast, but what a feast. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash casserole, green beans, fresh rolls, and at least one dessert choice per person -- sugar cookies that melt on your tongue, moist oatmeal raisin cookies, red velvet cake, chocolate pie, pecan pie, lemon meringue pie, hot fruit compote, pumpkin pie, and at least one other type of cookie, cake or pie to choose from. I usually gain about 5 pounds over the Christmas holidays.
But I will miss all of that this year.
To add insult to injury, other than the purchases I made here on Small Business Saturday, I ordered all of our Christmas presents online....and shipped them to Alabama. I decided that it would be easier than trying to hide them here for weeks and pack them into the car without being seen with the kids. Craptastic. I guess that is what happens when I try to be efficient and plan ahead.
And I cannot let my incredibly sensitive daughter know how sad it makes me to be missing out on my Alabama Christmas because she already feels like not going to Alabama is her fault thanks to her incredibly insensitive big brother who said "Thanks a lot Bella" when we informed our kids that we will not be making the trip "home."
So today we are getting ready to go out and find our Holiday Cheer, and I find myself wishing that some of those Facebook friends who finished decorating their houses and doing all of their Christmas shopping right after Halloween were here to help me.
Hey, you can help make my Christmas a little bit better, by voting for me! Click that little brown button and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! :)
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!! (No Interventions Needed)
Thanksgiving.
There are a lot of stereotypes about Thanksgiving -- from the food, to the football, to the day after shopping insanity. But the number one stereotype about Thanksgiving is the stressful family time. There are jokes about stuffing the turkey with Prozac, holding an intervention, or drinking to make it bearable. I get these jokes. I laugh at them, sometimes uncontrollably, but they are not me and my family. No one at my Thanksgiving is an alcoholic. Or a drug addict. Or really anything other than our own special brand of crazy.
No, there will be no interventions at our Thanksgiving.
But if there were, they'd go something like this:
Let's start with me -- I am the most obvious choice since I am the one with the addictive personality. I am not an alcoholic, or a drug addict, but I DO have my addictions -- Facebook, this blog, coffee, Coke, my iPhone, sleep....the list is long. So as I would sit with my coffee and Coke on the table in front of me with my iPhone in hand as I checked Facebook and my blog wishing that I could take a nap after the big Thanksgiving meal, my family would try to reason with me. But I wouldn't hear them because I would be too busy updating my status.
Then there are my kids. They are all addicted to making messes, but they have their own addictions too. We'd try to reason with the oldest boy about his Lego addiction -- how it simply was not normal to not be able to come to the dinner table, watch TV or go to the bathroom without bringing a handful of Legos along with you. We'd try, in vain, to get the oldest girl to realize that it was simply odd the way she writes "I Love Justin Beiber" on everything she owns. Our pleas with the youngest girl that as awesome as the color yellow is, there are other colors that she can wear, other crayons that she can use, and other foods that she can eat that are NOT yellow, would fall on deaf ears. And telling the 3 year old that dinosaurs were not, in fact, the only animals in the world would be an exercise in futility.
We could try to tell my father-in-law that it was indeed possible to come visit us without repairing something, painting something, cleaning something, or knocking holes in our walls. We could plead with him that he could come visit us for more than 36 hours because whoever he was digging a pool for, or building a deck or fence for, or renovating for would understand that this was Thanksgiving. But he would be too busy taking something we own apart to improve it and would probably never hear a word we said. (This is not an exaggeration -- he has been in my house for less than 5 hours and already has plans for 6 different "projects" he wants to complete while he is here.)
Then there is my mother-in-law. Everyone always talks about how they can't stand their mother-in-law, but mine is great. The only intervention that she needs is that she is not, in fact, Santa. She doesn't just shower my kids with "stuff" at the holidays, although it is definitely worse during the last few months of the year. No, she buys them stuff all year long. All they have to do is ask and she will do everything within her power (and credit limit) to make it happen. Should we try to intervene with her at Thanksgiving, she would not hear us because she would have the Toys R Us Big Book Of Toys on her lap and be surrounded by the 4 minions chanting choruses of "I want that, and that, and that and..."
Finally at our Thanksgiving table is my husband. I cannot think of one thing I need to intervene with him about. The only things that he is addicted to are me and throwing his dirty clothes on the floor. I can live with that.
I will take my family with all of their quirks because they are awesome and we all love each other -- warts and all. I hope that you are able to enjoy your family this Thanksgiving as much as I will enjoy mine. Take a little time to appreciate the flaws that make them even more lovable.
There are a lot of stereotypes about Thanksgiving -- from the food, to the football, to the day after shopping insanity. But the number one stereotype about Thanksgiving is the stressful family time. There are jokes about stuffing the turkey with Prozac, holding an intervention, or drinking to make it bearable. I get these jokes. I laugh at them, sometimes uncontrollably, but they are not me and my family. No one at my Thanksgiving is an alcoholic. Or a drug addict. Or really anything other than our own special brand of crazy.
No, there will be no interventions at our Thanksgiving.
But if there were, they'd go something like this:
Let's start with me -- I am the most obvious choice since I am the one with the addictive personality. I am not an alcoholic, or a drug addict, but I DO have my addictions -- Facebook, this blog, coffee, Coke, my iPhone, sleep....the list is long. So as I would sit with my coffee and Coke on the table in front of me with my iPhone in hand as I checked Facebook and my blog wishing that I could take a nap after the big Thanksgiving meal, my family would try to reason with me. But I wouldn't hear them because I would be too busy updating my status.
Then there are my kids. They are all addicted to making messes, but they have their own addictions too. We'd try to reason with the oldest boy about his Lego addiction -- how it simply was not normal to not be able to come to the dinner table, watch TV or go to the bathroom without bringing a handful of Legos along with you. We'd try, in vain, to get the oldest girl to realize that it was simply odd the way she writes "I Love Justin Beiber" on everything she owns. Our pleas with the youngest girl that as awesome as the color yellow is, there are other colors that she can wear, other crayons that she can use, and other foods that she can eat that are NOT yellow, would fall on deaf ears. And telling the 3 year old that dinosaurs were not, in fact, the only animals in the world would be an exercise in futility.
We could try to tell my father-in-law that it was indeed possible to come visit us without repairing something, painting something, cleaning something, or knocking holes in our walls. We could plead with him that he could come visit us for more than 36 hours because whoever he was digging a pool for, or building a deck or fence for, or renovating for would understand that this was Thanksgiving. But he would be too busy taking something we own apart to improve it and would probably never hear a word we said. (This is not an exaggeration -- he has been in my house for less than 5 hours and already has plans for 6 different "projects" he wants to complete while he is here.)
Then there is my mother-in-law. Everyone always talks about how they can't stand their mother-in-law, but mine is great. The only intervention that she needs is that she is not, in fact, Santa. She doesn't just shower my kids with "stuff" at the holidays, although it is definitely worse during the last few months of the year. No, she buys them stuff all year long. All they have to do is ask and she will do everything within her power (and credit limit) to make it happen. Should we try to intervene with her at Thanksgiving, she would not hear us because she would have the Toys R Us Big Book Of Toys on her lap and be surrounded by the 4 minions chanting choruses of "I want that, and that, and that and..."
Finally at our Thanksgiving table is my husband. I cannot think of one thing I need to intervene with him about. The only things that he is addicted to are me and throwing his dirty clothes on the floor. I can live with that.
I will take my family with all of their quirks because they are awesome and we all love each other -- warts and all. I hope that you are able to enjoy your family this Thanksgiving as much as I will enjoy mine. Take a little time to appreciate the flaws that make them even more lovable.
I know I am a nag, but could you take a second and click on the button at the top, right-hand side of the page that says "Vote For Me @Top Mommy Blogs?" You do not have to register, give an email address, or anything -- just click the button. Once their site comes up, you're done. You can close the window. I used to be #9, and now I am dangerously close to falling out of the Top 25! You can vote EVERYDAY! And since votes reset every 30 days, I'd love it if you did.
(FYI, you can vote on the 2011 Bloggers Choice Awards if you want, but they DO require a registration where you have to give your email address. However, it is a one-time-only thing. I would love to win one of these awards, but based on the 30 votes that I have gotten, it isn't looking too promising.)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
You Win
It's 2 days until Thanksgiving and a large portion of my Facebook friends have posted statuses and pictures of their Christmas trees that are already up and decorated. They say things like "I just LOVE Christmas!" They claim that they put their tree (or in some cases "trees") up early so that they can enjoy them longer. I also have friends who are done -- yes FINISHED -- with their Christmas shopping. They have bought all of their gifts for friends and family, their stocking stuffers, and even have some (if not all) of it wrapped and under one of their meticulously decorated Christmas trees. Their husbands have strung umpteen dozen strands of lights on the outside of their houses and they have nativity scenes and inflatable snowmen on their lawns.
I never decorate for Christmas. I don't even put up a Christmas tree.
Why would I? We go "home" for Christmas. We wouldn't be here to enjoy it. We don't have room for a tree anyway. I have to side-step random piles of toys, laundry, and other crap on any given day in my house, so putting up a tree where we would pile wrapped up new toys or clothes seems a little ridiculous. Also, our kids get ONE present from Santa and ONE present from their dad and I because they also get presents from Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt Betty, Aunt Martha, Aunt Willa and Uncle Jon, etc. And OUR Santa doesn't wrap his presents because he is too busy -- he has to get to every single kid on the planet within 24 hours. Santa comes to Grandmother's house where he puts the toys and gifts unwrapped on the hearth right next to the stockings.
A wonderful blog that I follow, Snarky In The Suburbs, has dubbed this maniacal early decorating and boasting, er, I mean POSTING about it on Facebook "Competitive Christmas." I am not saying that all of my friends are in competition -- I happen to know quite a few who truly just love Christmas and would probably put their tree(s) up in September if they thought that they could get away with it. But there are some who I KNOW put up their trees right after Halloween, have all of their shopping finished before the Black Friday ads are even printed, and begin their Christmas cookies as soon as the Thanksgiving turkey comes out of the oven and then post pictures of all of their wrapped presents along with statuses about how THEY get to relax and enjoy the holidays because THEY planned ahead. Here is what I hear when I see that crap "I am better than you."
Well, no you're not. What you are is slightly insane. You are the same people who would poll all of your friends in school to see what they made on the test and then tell them that you did better. You are the same people who have to drive the better car, have the better TV, wear the better clothes, etc. You don't try to "keep up with the Joneses" -- you try to BE the Joneses.
Here's what you should know -- I do not plan my life around what you do at Christmas or on any other day of the year. I do not participate in "Competitive Christmas" nor do I try to live my life in an attempt to keep up with anyone. How exhausting! I cannot imagine how disappointed I might be in myself if I was always trying to be as organized or as neat or as rich or as frugal or as ANYTHING as all of my friends. I do admire a lot of those things and mimic them at times, but to focus on trying to be the best at everything is impossible. I have enough crazy in my life without actively participating in your brand of "nuts."
So, you win.
You are better at Christmas than I am. I will no doubt realize on Christmas Eve as I huddle in the bathroom at my mom's house wrapping the presents to my kids from their dad and me to avoid being discovered, that I forgot someone, or that one kid has been shortchanged in the stocking department, or that I don't have enough bows. And this will result in me sending the husband out at midnight on Christmas Eve to go to the CVS or Walgreens, or down to the corner convenience store to pick up something to make it all work. Next February, when I finally get around to cleaning out that closet under the stairs, I will find the toy that I bought on clearance 3 years ago for my child who has since outgrown it. I will probably not get Christmas cards done at all, but if I do they will never compare to the full on North Pole scene that you set up in your front yard in August with your shiny happy family all decked out in matching Christmas sweaters for the professional photographer that you hired. And I will most likely top off the kid's stockings with left over Halloween candy, if I remember to pack it.
But I will probably enjoy Christmas every bit as if not more than you because I forfeit. I am not competing. See, you can't really "win" at Christmas.
I never decorate for Christmas. I don't even put up a Christmas tree.
Why would I? We go "home" for Christmas. We wouldn't be here to enjoy it. We don't have room for a tree anyway. I have to side-step random piles of toys, laundry, and other crap on any given day in my house, so putting up a tree where we would pile wrapped up new toys or clothes seems a little ridiculous. Also, our kids get ONE present from Santa and ONE present from their dad and I because they also get presents from Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt Betty, Aunt Martha, Aunt Willa and Uncle Jon, etc. And OUR Santa doesn't wrap his presents because he is too busy -- he has to get to every single kid on the planet within 24 hours. Santa comes to Grandmother's house where he puts the toys and gifts unwrapped on the hearth right next to the stockings.
A wonderful blog that I follow, Snarky In The Suburbs, has dubbed this maniacal early decorating and boasting, er, I mean POSTING about it on Facebook "Competitive Christmas." I am not saying that all of my friends are in competition -- I happen to know quite a few who truly just love Christmas and would probably put their tree(s) up in September if they thought that they could get away with it. But there are some who I KNOW put up their trees right after Halloween, have all of their shopping finished before the Black Friday ads are even printed, and begin their Christmas cookies as soon as the Thanksgiving turkey comes out of the oven and then post pictures of all of their wrapped presents along with statuses about how THEY get to relax and enjoy the holidays because THEY planned ahead. Here is what I hear when I see that crap "I am better than you."
Well, no you're not. What you are is slightly insane. You are the same people who would poll all of your friends in school to see what they made on the test and then tell them that you did better. You are the same people who have to drive the better car, have the better TV, wear the better clothes, etc. You don't try to "keep up with the Joneses" -- you try to BE the Joneses.
Here's what you should know -- I do not plan my life around what you do at Christmas or on any other day of the year. I do not participate in "Competitive Christmas" nor do I try to live my life in an attempt to keep up with anyone. How exhausting! I cannot imagine how disappointed I might be in myself if I was always trying to be as organized or as neat or as rich or as frugal or as ANYTHING as all of my friends. I do admire a lot of those things and mimic them at times, but to focus on trying to be the best at everything is impossible. I have enough crazy in my life without actively participating in your brand of "nuts."
So, you win.
You are better at Christmas than I am. I will no doubt realize on Christmas Eve as I huddle in the bathroom at my mom's house wrapping the presents to my kids from their dad and me to avoid being discovered, that I forgot someone, or that one kid has been shortchanged in the stocking department, or that I don't have enough bows. And this will result in me sending the husband out at midnight on Christmas Eve to go to the CVS or Walgreens, or down to the corner convenience store to pick up something to make it all work. Next February, when I finally get around to cleaning out that closet under the stairs, I will find the toy that I bought on clearance 3 years ago for my child who has since outgrown it. I will probably not get Christmas cards done at all, but if I do they will never compare to the full on North Pole scene that you set up in your front yard in August with your shiny happy family all decked out in matching Christmas sweaters for the professional photographer that you hired. And I will most likely top off the kid's stockings with left over Halloween candy, if I remember to pack it.
But I will probably enjoy Christmas every bit as if not more than you because I forfeit. I am not competing. See, you can't really "win" at Christmas.
 |
| If I ever have neighbors who decorate like that house, I am sooooo doing this. |
Monday, November 21, 2011
I AM Calm
Today, I am trying to remain calm and therefore I will be ranting about my Thanksgiving prep. Not because it is incredibly funny or interesting, but just because I need to get it all out so that I can realize just how far behind I am, and then I can properly panic and freak out.
I bought a turkey this weekend. I opted for a fresh one, as I usually do, but I had to get a bigger one than I wanted. I do not know why, but every year it seems that I either cannot find a turkey big enough or I can't find one small enough. Last year, we had extra people for Thanksgiving (some good friends who are just as far away from their extended families as we are) and I needed a 20 pound turkey. Every store I went to had 12-15 pound turkeys, but nothing bigger. This year it was the opposite. I went to 4 different stores and all of the turkeys were 20-25 pounds.
My mother-in-law does not eat poultry -- no chicken, no duck, and no turkey. Not even on Thanksgiving. When SHE doesn't eat something, my girls all of a sudden don't eat it either. So the husband, the father-in-law, and the 2 boys and I are the ones who will be eating turkey -- all 14 1/2 pounds of it. The mother-in-law is bringing a ham, which I love, but which will further diminish the need for the big turkey. I am also making home-canned green beans with carrots, mashed potatoes, sweet potato souffle, asparagus, homemade bread, and, of course -- rice. My in-laws are Puerto Rican, we have to have rice with every meal. And I am Southern. It doesn't matter that we HAVE to have rice, because we also HAVE to have sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. And green beans from Costco will not do -- they have to be ones that my mother canned this summer cooked with fat-back for most of the day leading up to dinner. Its a rule.
So the menu is set. Now on to the cleaning. Crap. This is ALWAYS an issue at my house, Thanksgiving or not. This week the minions are out of school. My husband, in his oblivion, said "Good, they can help you clean." Yeah, right. Trying to clean with 4 kids in the house is like shoveling snow in a blizzard -- it may be necessary to keep from being completely buried, but you rarely make much notable progress. I cleaned the toilet in their bathroom this morning. While I was cleaning the sink, with the 3 different shade of kid toothpaste on it, the 3 year old came in and peed all over the toilet. So I cleaned it again. I need to dust, vacuum, sweep, and mop. All things that I hate. And today I am babysitting a 5th kid. Difficulty level has been increased by at least 20%.
I have to say though, they are trying to help. The main problem seems to be that they do not want to do the general picking up and putting away that is required before you can start on the things that they think will be fun -- dusting, vacuuming, and pretty much anything that requires spraying things from a squirt bottle. Add to that they have no idea HOW to do the cleaning that they WANT to do and you get half a bottle of Windex on the bathroom mirror, 46 Clorox wipes to clean the table, and 4 Swiffers to clean the bathroom floor.
And there is the constant need to purge the crap -- we are in the throes of a full-on pre-Christmas purge. The kids don't want to get rid of ANYTHING and their dad and I want to get rid of EVERYTHING. We know that in a few short weeks "Santa" (AKA Grandma and Grandmother) will load them down with so much stuff that there will be no room for us to move in this house. Why do kids get so attached to meaningless crap? I went to give away a pillow that is all ratty and dirty and has Disney Princesses on it (my girls don't even like Disney Princesses) and you would have thought I was trying to give away the family dog. My nearly 10 year old son is pouting because I threw away a box that was torn up and laying flat on the floor of his room because he had drawn on it with crayons. It. Was. A. BOX. A torn up box at that. It is really annoying.
It is almost time for lunch now. I will have to get the kitchen dirty to make the 5 kids here lunch, serve it on the previously cleaned table, and watch as thousands of crumbs are dropped onto my previously cleaned floor. And I will have to do this amid numerous protests over what is being served. After lunch there will be an entire hour or more trying to re-motivate the minions to get back to work.
I was hoping to have the house completely cleaned up by tomorrow. Tomorrow is Lorelei's 5th birthday. I hate to try and make them clean up when it is supposed to be a day to celebrate Lorelei. We have gotten her presents, we have ordered a pull-apart-cupcake-cake, and we have promised her that she can have cheese-sticks from Sonic for dinner since that is her absolute favorite thing in the world. Two weeks from now, the oldest turns 10, and 4 days after Christmas, the 7 year old turns 8. All of these birthdays mean that the Christmas haul will only be half of what comes into this house over the next few weeks. (Sigh) I suppose that means that I should get off of here and get to work.....
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