Geez, I Just Need A Job

I have to go back to work. 

I have to, but I really don't want to, and logistically, I am not sure how I am going to. 

See, my husband has a good job with full benefits.  In this economy, that is nothing to sneeze at.  But at a recent benefits meeting regarding open enrollment, the employees were informed that due mostly to pending federal legislation (also known as "Obamacare") our benefits costs are increasing to the tune of nearly $200 a month.  So we will be bringing home nearly $200 a month less after January. 

We do better than most, but we are not rolling in the dough or anything.  We live debt free.  We are frugal.  We have to be -- we have 4 kids on one income.  Our grocery costs have increased nearly 43% over the last 4 years and the cost of gasoline has increased by nearly 75%.  All of this combines to make me going back to work a necessity.  However, I cannot afford childcare for 4 kids so I need to work a job with flexible part time hours.

This makes my job prospects basically zero.

If I could work full-time at a typical secretarial job, I could easily bring home close to $20,000 a year after taxes.  Of course, I'd have to pay out about $16,000 in childcare costs and I would spend nearly $1,500 a year more in gas, and I would most likely spend about $2,000 more per year on take out and convenience foods.  My net profit would be approximately $500 per year or less than $50 per month for working 40 hours a week.

So I am not looking for a full time position.  I am looking for a part time position that pays enough an hour to make it worth it and is flexible enough that I won't have to pay for childcare.  So far, I am having NO LUCK.  Not to mention that my resume is all over the place with big gaps in it every time I had a kid. I have worked a lot of different jobs starting when I was about 14.  Just since college I have been a leasing agent, an office administrator, an loan auditor, a customer service representative, an assistant property manager, a real estate assistant, a medical billing specialist, an office manager, an outside sales rep, and a professional photographer.  And I guess technically a writer since I started this blog (even though I don't make any money at it).  I was good at all of those jobs, but I cannot find a part time job that pays more than minimum wage and has flexible hours. It is a bit depressing. 

I have a college degree.  I am intelligent.  I am easy to work with.  I am a fast learner and as demonstrated by my past work history, I am good at many, many different things.  If I could just talk to prospective employers, This is what I would say:

I have many skills that would prove useful in any office environment.  I can type, file, organize, sell, promote, and create.  I am a valuable asset because I can do pretty much anything that you need for me to do and I'm an expert multi-tasker.  I get along with almost everyone and if I don't like someone I am great at pretending.  You need me.  And I need a job with flexibility.  Hiring me for a flexible, part time position works out well for both of us.  You don't have to pay for my benefits, you don't have to pay a full time salary, and my myriad skills mean that I can do more than one job so you can hire JUST me instead of 2 or 3 people.  I am NOT "career oriented" at this point, I am "let's pay for groceries oriented" so I will not be begging to be promoted to a more prestigious position.  If I get to that point, I will give ample notice so that you will have the opportunity to offer me a position before I leave for a career driven opportunity. 
 

 Unfortunately, it is not that easy.  It should be, but it's not.  I am trying to update my resume to reflect these very things, but it is seemingly impossible.  So if you know of anyone in Huntsville or Madison Alabama who could benefit from all this and a daily dose of sarcastic humor, let me know.