I Learned How to Raise Four Kids in College....At a Frat House

I would LOOOOOOVE to say I came up with all of this, but I didn't.  A friend posted a link to this on Facebook, and I laughed and laughed, so I thought I'd copy it and share it here with a few of my own additions.  The original was a Top 10 list, I obviously added some of my own from 11 on.  The original title was "Why Living With a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party,"(From Suburban Snapshots)  but as you can see, I amended that as well to better fit some of my own additions and since my kids are now 8 1/2, 6 1/2, 3 1/2, and 2 years old.

50)   There is no food left in the house even though you went grocery shopping yesterday and no one will admit to eating any of it.

49)   The next morning, no one except you remembers what happened.
48)   Running around in underwear, a weird hat, and rain boots is not in anyway strange
47)   The older ones are always hazing the younger ones.

46)   People are in and out of beds like it's some sort of French farce.

45)   The toilet is never flushed.

44)   The neighbors call the cops because of the noise.
43)   Someone always has "the munchies."
42)   You often find unidentifiable stains on your clothes and have NO IDEA what they are or how they got there.
41)   Someone is telling jokes that don't make sense and everyone is laughing hysterically anyway.

40)   You stop asking what you stepped on. It is better not to know.

39)   Everything is sticky
38)   No one can ever find their shoes.
37)   It is not uncommon for someone to find out - midday - that they are wearing someone else's underwear.

36)   People fall asleep everywhere - the couch, the floor, the chair, the table - at all times of day.

35)   Spinning around and flapping your arms counts as dancing.

34)   At least 10 times somebody will be yelling "Hey, watch this".

33)   If there's a wet spot in the bed at 2AM, you just throw a towel over it or move to the other side.

32)   When you get unexpected company you pray that everyone has pants on.
31)   There is a guy in the next room who can tell you what system, planet, and ship every Star Wars Character is from, and you are praying that NO ONE gets him started on the subject
30)   By early evening, general silliness has broken out and uncontrollable laughter rings out through the house with little apparent cause.

29)   The music is REALLY annoying, but everyone else in the room seems to love it.


28)   Rinsing something out with water and reusing constitutes as washing it.
27)   At any time there is a chance of someone running nude through the house.
26)   You spend hours playing a game you don't understand because it has no discernible rules and is made up of seemingly random components, and then you win and somehow the person you played is naked.
25)   You constantly say things like "Please, don't lick my pants!" and wonder why on earth you would EVER have to say that out loud.

24)   Whenever you sit down some weird guy is RIGHT there, hanging all over you. Not taking a hint.
23)   If you miss a period you are truly horrifying because as you look at your life you realize that you are in know way ready to be a parent (again).
22)   You don't remember the last time you looked at your television set and saw something other than cartoons or video games.
21)   Try as you might, you cannot get people to stop dancing on the furniture.

20)   There's always someone that wants to stay up all night.
19)   No one walks in a straight line and they randomly fall down.

18)   For reasons unknown, there is a half-eaten grilled cheese on the stairs.
17)   The most popular snack food is Pop-Tarts.
16)    People can't climb the stairs without using their hands.
15)   All conversation occurs as though at least one of you has forgotten the language.
14)   Eating utensils are optional.
13)   At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs.

12)   You lie to your mother about what is going on at your place.
11)   You have a TV theme song stuck in your head, and when you start singing it everyone joins in.

10)   There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
9)   There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8)   It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7)   You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone is going to start banging on the door.
6)   Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5)   You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4)   There's definitely going to be a fight.
3)    You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
2)   There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1)   You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

Rant, Rant, Rant -- Not Sure What Has Gotten Into Me!!

I was listening to the radio today and they were talking about divorce -- what causes it, the statistics for it, how having faith effects it, how money issues are the main cause for it, etc.  And a few things occur to me as I am listening.  We live in a disposable society that wants immediate gratification.  We get married and think that we should have everything that our parents have even though it took them 30 years to acquire it.  Money problems are the number one cause of divorce.  And these are usually problems that we bring on ourselves.  The average American household with at least one credit card has nearly $10,700 in credit-card debt, according to CardWeb.com, and that number increases for those that have more than one card (and most do have more than one). 
Debt is something I COMPLETELY understand because I have been in deeper than most.  But I am lucky enough to have a loving husband who worked WITH me to clean up our mess so that we could start acting like adults about our money.  I would love to be able to say that our debt was purely a result of our circumstance and that it was beyond our control, but that would be a lie.  Granted, most of it was due to the move and the inability to sell the house for more than 2 years after the move, etc. and some was due to unforeseen medical issues, but lets get real here: we could have let the house go 18 months before we did and we could have cut up the credit cards and cut our expenses before we did.  We could complain about the unexpected expenses caused by having 4 kids, but...well...we have 4 kids, so those expenses should not be all that unexpected.  If there is one thing I have learned in the time that we have gotten all of our finances under control and started doing a written budget every month is that there is no such thing as a "Normal Month."  I mean, sure, your house payment, your utilities, your phone, etc. will not change much month to month, but there will ALWAYS be some sort of "emergency" that is not in your normal expenses.  That is why we have an "Oh Crap" line item in our budget.  This month it may be 6 visits to the doctor (which exceeds our "normal" medical budget).  Last month it might have been soccer or dance pictures or recital fees (or all of the above).  Next month it might be a special contribution at church.  My point is, it is always something and the key is to be as prepared for that stuff as possible.  The idea that "Life takes Visa" is bassackwards -- Visa WILL take your life.

Political Rant (Try Not to Be Offended)

This is the 4th blog I have started about the presidential address last week and current state of our great nation, and if it weren't for the delete and backspace buttons, I would probably be on some sort of extremist watch list.  I got so aggrevated watching Obama's press conference last week, and I get increasingly annoyed by the liberal views in Washington.  I am feeling a little better after 4 personal rants to myself, but it has brought me to another, related subject:  Why is it that because I am a Southern, white, Christian, I am automatically a racist bigot?  Have you noticed that the liberals in this country are all for free speech unless what you say is "As a Christian, I oppose abortion, and same-sex marriage, and here are the passages from the Bible to support my views?"  They do not recognize the authority of the Bible, so they say that none of what it says is relevant.  Well, I disagree.  I say that MY opinion is just as important as theirs (isn't THAT what they are arguing for?) and doesn't MY voice deserve to be heard?  That is the problem with equal rights -- they are EQUAL.  If I have to listen to you drone on and on about how it is a woman's choice, not a life, or how government should step in and get everyone a job, a car, and a house, or how gays should be allowed this that and the other, then you cannot complain when I quote scriptures and disagree with you.

And let me say this:  As long as the choice does not have an impact upon me or any other human life, I don't oppose it.  I believe homosexulity is a sin -- it is one of those black and white issues from the Bible, it is not open to interpretation.  If you are gay, and believe in the Bible, then I do not know how you reconcile that, but that is between you and God.  Am I politiacally or socially against gay marriage?  Not really.  I know it is going to happen.  I fear the long term consequences on our schools when the family ideas are challenged to accomodate same sex couples and how I will have to explain that to my kids, but beyond that, it does not effect me -- I am not God, so I pass no judgement.  As for my stance on abortion, I am vehemently opposed to it.  I consider it a life at the moment of conception, so to me it is murder.  Would you expect me to not protest murder?  Now, I do NOT understand the people that bomb abortion clinics or shoot abortion doctors, since that is also murder.  I guess that I am anti-abortion, but I am also anti-Extreme-Anti-Abortionists....
I have a serious issue with this concept that the Government is supposed to take care of all my problems.  Since Uncle Sam doesn't have any money that We The People do not give him in the form of taxes, I am slightly offended by these programs that pay for mortgages, cars, and even cell phones for people who do not work.  Now, don't go get on your soap boxes about those that cannot help their situations, I am not talking about them.  But I do not understand why the lady at the grocery store used food stamps to pay for groceries with her obviously manicured and blinged out hand and then put said groceries into an Escalade while chatting the whole time on her i-Phone (meanwhile I am digging in my purse for my Kroger card, my coupons, and my CASH to pay for my groceries).  When we couldn't sell our house in Georgia after we moved here to Texas, I made it work for as long as I could then we let the house go.  We looked into government programs, but there were none.  So we cut our expenses down to next to nothing, we sold stuff on Craigslist, we cut coupons, and we did WITHOUT.  It wasn't enough.  We lost the house.  And the world kept on spinning.  We had a very high opinion of ourselves and our "stuff" and God shook our lives up and taught us a lesson about humility, necessity, and ingenuity.    If you give people everything that they need, they will not only not appreciate all that they have, they will cease trying to get anything for themselves.  Very few people will refuse the things that the government provides in order to get to work and get better things for themselves.  And it is contagious -- the children and the neighbors see that the government is providing people with everything that others are working for, and they wonder why they should work.  If you think I am wrong, look at the statistics of welfare and other government aid programs 50 years ago and today.  Look at how many people started out on welfare and got off of it 50 years ago and those today.  Look at just how many MORE programs there are now -- it is ridiculous.  Here is the bottom line -- we are a selfish, snobby, country who thinks that the world owes us something when we used to be a God fearing nation who helped ourselves. 
I have a whole other post in my head now, so I better stop there before I get going again.  Please pray for our country and its leaders.