If I Were Queen

A friend and I were talking politics last night and she said "I wish you would run for a public office.  You have a great no-nonsense approach and I think you could get a lot accomplished."  It took me 5 minutes to stop laughing.

Seriously?!  You want me to run a city council meeting or something? I can't even get 4 kids to pick up their dirty underwear what makes you think I could do well in government?  My house looks like the modern day setting of "Lord of The Flies" 90% of the time -- God only knows what kind of damage I could do in government.  Besides, I would suck at politics.  Sure, I have some good ideas, but they would not be widely accepted.  No one would vote for me because I am too honest.  I am brutally honest.  I am honest like a mother.  I would most likely end up telling some one (or more likely, some group) to quit whining, to shut-up, or to get over whatever had their panties in a bunch.  Fox News would love me.

I have less desire to go into politics than I do to clean, but let's take a look at what life under my rule would look like if I were President (because if you are going to speculate, speculate BIG):

First things first -- I would be a one-term president (or less if I got impeached, which I probably would).  And I would put an end to "Career Politicians."  Serving as a senator or congressman should not be a lifelong career.  You will receive the same health benefits and the same retirement benefits as those in the military.  I guarantee that the Military Benefits Act would be drafted, passed in both Houses, and on my desk within a few short months of enacting that policy.  Those men and women serve their country with honor, and no less will be expected of you.  You are supposed to be a SERVANT to the people -- not their lord and master.  No one, who is truly being a servant to the people that they represent should want to do so forever.  Congress will be in session for the majority of the year -- like every other job in the world.  Upon being elected, you will be required to spend 6 months living and working side by side with those that you represent -- not campaigning for their future vote, but discovering their needs and what you can do to help them when you get to Washington.  After your term ends, you would be required to spend another 6 months teaching the ropes to the guy (or girl) who is stepping up to take your place.  Thanks for your work, but it's time to give someone else a turn.

I would not try (nor would I want) to please everybody. I would want to do away with a lot of the excess. That would mean getting rid of jobs and not "creating" them. I am all for hiring people when there is a genuine need, but the idea of "creating" jobs makes me envision the busy work I give my preschoolers when I need to get some real stuff done.

"Professional Lobbyists" would all be out of a job because I would not let them anywhere near Capitol Hill.  I find this practice of paying someone to promote your cause or your companies interests unseemly.  Senators and congressmen are meant to represent the PEOPLE of their districts -- not the companies that do business there. 

I would put a freeze on things like The National Endowment For The Arts.  I love art -- all forms of art -- but when people can't pay their bills, they do not buy art.  We are a country that cannot pay its bills, so until we get crap straightened out, no unnecessary expenses.  I would also put a stop to any government funded studies or projects that did not provide for immediate, tangible, needs of our country.  This would mean that there would be defense spending, military spending, and operational spending, but no studies on the migratory patterns of birds.  We would not be hosting any big state dinners while I was in office either -- if I had to host an event, it would be a BYOB barbecue.  I would contact the heads of state that were to attend and tell them that money was tight, but I wanted to have them over for a meal.  I'd ask them if they were okay with burgers and dogs and if they could bring chips.  If they weren't okay with that, we wouldn't have any state dinners.  I don't think that a country's leaders should be impressed by us spending money that we don't have.  If I loaned money to a friend in need and then they invited me over for caviar and champagne, I'd be pissed off, not impressed.  We would concentrate on getting out of debt, operating effectively within a budget, and getting organized. 

Immigration:  Do it legally or don't bother.  Close the borders -- I mean REALLY close the borders.  After that is accomplished, provide amnesty to those already living and working here as long as they can prove that they are not criminals or fugitives, and have them apply for citizenship or at least resident alien status.  Look, I love my neighbors but if they continually walked into my house uninvited and ate my food or sat on my couch like they belonged here I'd get pretty mad. 

There are so many more things that I would do "If I ran the world" but it will never happen.  People like me never get elected.  We aren't butt-kissers who promise the sun moon and stars to everyone.  But Washington needs us.  We need to elect some straight shooters who tell it like it is and don't worry about what people think.  We need leaders who will do what is best for the WHOLE country, not just for special interest groups, companies, or their own friends and families.  Those are the people who should be running the world.  I can barely run my own world.  So no more wasting time on flights of fancy about being the queen, I have laundry to fold, dry, and wash, floors to sweep and mop, and dinner to make.  And there are these little anarchists running amok trying to keep me from my work.....