I have an email address specifically for my blog. I get all kinds of weird junk emails from businesses who either hone in on "Counting" or "Caballeros" or who think that because I am a mommy blogger I must promote all natural fibers, organic, homemade foods, or homeschooling. I have, in the past week received emails from people asking me to promote their homeschooling curriculums, their tools to teach toddlers how to blow their noses, their books about parenting, their blogs about organic eating for kids, and their music. But my favorite emails are the ones who feel the need to voice their displeasure about me. I typically get one about every 6 weeks or so and they make me laugh. I get more than that if I post something religious or political, or if I talk about how I let my kids run wild, or how I fought with another teacher or parent. I usually just laugh and hit delete. I have been known to publicly ridicule those who feel that they are somehow entitled to judge me by calling them out here on the blog, and I even went so far as to publish one person's email in it's entirety WITH her email address because she had shown herself to be an ignorant, hateful person and I had not had the energy to address her with the proper level of snark by myself and had therefore recruited you guys to help. But this week, I got the following email from a television producer and my mind began to race with the impending fame and fortune that was sure to follow:
My name is Brian and I work at Anderson, a new daytime talk show hosted by Anderson Cooper.
I was interested in speaking with you about an idea I had for a story. Please give me a call when you get a chance at 212 XXX XXXX or contact me by email at brian.grobman@andersoncooper..com
It would also be helpful if you let me know a number I could reach you at as well. I look forward to speaking with you as soon as possible in the near future.
1271 Avenue of the Americas // 16th FloorNew York, NY 10020O: 212.275.8939F:
My moment had arrived! I was about to be discovered! When this email was sent, I had just written the post If I Were Queen and I just KNEW that Anderson Cooper wanted me to fly to New York to be a commentator on his show about politics. Or maybe he was doing a show about how difficult it was to break into the publishing business and was going to fly me to New York to meet with publishers and do a series of stories on what it takes for an unknown author to get published! Or maybe he wanted me to become a REGULAR COMMENTATOR on his show and he was going to fly me to New York regularly!! (Notice how in all of these fantasies I get flown to New York....) I quickly typed my response, while trying to sound as non-chalant as possible:
Sorry that it took so long for me to get back to you, but the whole mom to 4 kids thing keeps me a little tied up, and your email originally went to my Junk Mail folder that I only check a few times a month. I must admit that you have piqued my interest -- what could you possibly want to talk to me about? Please call me at your convenience and satisfy my curiosity (817) XXX-XXXX.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Author of Counting Caballeros
Then I waited. The next morning I got this email back from him:
Right now we are working on a story about a mom who cannot leave the house unless she looks perfect! Hair, makeup, the whole nine yards!
If you think you know someone like this we would love to talk to them!
Please let me know!
Wait.....What? This man obviously has NOT read my blog. And more disturbing, he does not want to help me launch my writing career. I was envisioning getting a job writing for a TV show, or a magazine, or being a regular commentator and getting a book deal and what does he want? He wants to know if I know any June Cleaver types that he could talk to. Sigh. So this is how I responded:
Oh wow, um, I don't know anyone like that personally, but I regularly make fun of them on my blog. I am the antithesis of that mom. My uniform consists of t-shirts and yoga pants and I usually only wear make-up to church. Seriously, there is a post-it note on my front door that says “Do you have on a BRA? Are you wearing SHOES? Have you even seen a BRUSH today?”
I don't mean to be presumptuous, (actually, I do mean to be presumptuous -- what do I have to lose?) but why don't you guys do a show about all of the mom-bloggers out there and their opinions on things like education, politics, taxes, religion, etc? You could do a whole week of shows based upon what normal, everyday moms think. There is a plethora of mom-bloggers out there and we are all full of opinions. You could check out the site "Top Mommy Blogs" if you need help finding blogs to pull from. There are special needs moms who blog about the horrors that they face dealing with the system, there are moms who blog about the joys and heartaches of adoption, there are moms who blog about trying to homeschool, trying to feed their kids only whole foods, trying to cope with food allergies and developmental disorders, and then there are moms like me who blog about anything and everything and are just trying to make it through the next day. There are even some great dad bloggers. As a daytime talk show, I imagine that the majority of your audience is stay at home parents, and I imagine that as much as they enjoy hearing from various experts, they'd love the chance to hear from some of those that they could relate to. You could even make it a weekly segment -- once a week feature a different blogger with a different opinion on a different subject as a wrap up or a springboard for your topic that day. Truth is, we have a lot of great ideas about a lot of different things, but we have kids. This means that we cannot we cannot find time to write an entire book, or court the publishing world to publish a book we've written, and any book we'd write would be all over the place because that is how our lives are. In the past 2 weeks, I have personally blogged about what I'd do if I were president, how shocked I was to discover my 7-year old singing the Katy Perry song "Last Friday Night", what I think about the Michigan anti-bullying law, and what I think about the Penn State scandal. We blog mostly about what is on our minds on the day we sit down with more than 10 minutes at the keyboard, but we have amazing insight and (usually) pretty good ideas.
Should you decide to pursue something along those lines, (or if I can ever help you with another topic) feel free to give me a call. I have an entire list of fellow mommy-bloggers that I will be happy to pass along.
Author of Counting Caballeros
Seriously, moms who spend all of their time on hair and make-up aren't interesting! REAL MOMS are interesting! So far today, I have thrown away 7 partially eaten Pop Tarts and yelled at my 3 year old for washing the small pumpkin he got from school in the toilet. (Luckily, I had actually cleaned the toilet this morning.) And we are smart and we have ideas and we deserve to be heard by someone who may actually listen more than our kids.
So far, he has not called. I am picturing him pitching this idea to Anderson Cooper himself and that Anderson is threatened by me. That's gotta be it.