This is me...

This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Santa Mom

Today's post is for all of my fellow Santa Moms out there.  I wrote this variation on "Twas The Night Before Christmas" earlier this week, and I was going to wait to post it on Christmas Eve.  But, I started really thinking about it and I realized that the closer we get to Christmas, the less time all of us Santa Moms are going to have to sit around reading blogs -- no matter how awesome they are.  So I am posting it now so you will have plenty of time to read it and share it and promote it before you actually live it.  I know that many moms have a dad to help like I do, but there have been many years when the dad at this house was working the night before Christmas, and since I am a control freak, I generally don't let him do anything anyway. 
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Twas the night before Christmas
There was so much to do
Santa Mom sighed
Wondering when she'd be through

There were toys to assemble
Still presents to wrap
And all of those stockings
Had to be stuffed full of crap.

She put the minions to bed
And she sat and she waited
Until the giggles and whispers
Had completely abated

She put on the coffee
And as it was brewing
She got out her list
And she got straight to doing.

Cross-legged on the floor
She laid out the parts
Instructions and diagrams
And the insanity starts

There's German and French
Italian, Chinese
Where in the hell
Are the ENGLISH ones PLEASE?

Pieces A4 and B6
Are supposed to fit tight
C7 and 8 are just
Not looking right.

She stares at the picture
On the front of the package
And then down at the pile
To see how close the match is

There are some extra screws
And a washer or two
She drops those in the junk drawer
Beside the Super Glue

The toy is together
Just took a few hours
She gets ready to summon
Her Santa Mom powers

She stands staring down at
The thing she'd assembled
She thought how to wrap it
And she literally trembled

It won't go in a box
It won't fit 'neath the tree...
A trash bag and a bow!
"Looks good to me!"

Onto the next task
She must make haste
Christmas morning is coming
There's no time to waste!

The scissors are flying
There's tape in her hair
There's bows on her butt
And she just doesn't care

She pours "Santa's milk" in her coffee
And eats all the cookies
A crucial step
Often missed by the rookies.

She fills the all the stockings
Even dad's, dog's, and her own
The den looks like its been hit
By a Christmas cyclone

She collapses in bed
All done with her work
But before she drifts off
She sits up with a jerk

That damn Elf on the Shelf
Has to be put away
She was supposed to go back
In Santa's big sleigh.

A few hours later
The kids jump on her bed
She's grabbed by the hand
And to the den she is led

With so little sleep
She should be a grouch
But dad hands her her coffee
And she sinks into the couch

The packages she wrapped
Late into the night
Were attacked by the kids
And ripped open on sight

The kids are excited
They scream and they squeal
And Santa Mom knows
It was worth the ordeal

The magic of Christmas
Preserved one more year
Made special by mom
For those she holds dear

Who cares if the kids
Think Santa did all that crap
With legions of elves
To get the presents all wrapped?

One day they will know
It wasn't a fat man in a suit
Who created the the magic
And gave them their loot

She may not wear red
Or fly through the night
But Santa Mom knows
How to make Christmas bright.


Anonymous said...

Love it Ginger and it never ends!! Still doing most of all that! They don't rush in and wake us up anymore, just stand at the door ringing the doorbell! Love that you are now a Santa mom! Love you and Merry Christmas! Santa MaBell

Ranting and Raving said...

that was amzing!! i love it!! XD

Carin said...

Awesomeness has found a face, it's yours. Be well, Santa Mom, may your daysbe merry and bright.

Tricia said...

Love it!!!!! Very true!!!! Thank you for sharing!! :)

crissy boyd said...

I LOVE it!!! I LOVE reading your blog to my husband. We both get a kick out of it.