Santa Mom

Today's post is for all of my fellow Santa Moms out there.  I wrote this variation on "Twas The Night Before Christmas" earlier this week, and I was going to wait to post it on Christmas Eve.  But, I started really thinking about it and I realized that the closer we get to Christmas, the less time all of us Santa Moms are going to have to sit around reading blogs -- no matter how awesome they are.  So I am posting it now so you will have plenty of time to read it and share it and promote it before you actually live it.  I know that many moms have a dad to help like I do, but there have been many years when the dad at this house was working the night before Christmas, and since I am a control freak, I generally don't let him do anything anyway. 

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Twas the night before Christmas

There was so much to do

Santa Mom sighed

Wondering when she'd be through

There were toys to assemble

Still presents to wrap

And all of those stockings

Had to be stuffed full of crap.

She put the minions to bed

And she sat and she waited

Until the giggles and whispers

Had completely abated

She put on the coffee

And as it was brewing

She got out her list

And she got straight to doing.

Cross-legged on the floor

She laid out the parts

Instructions and diagrams

And the insanity starts

There's German and French

Italian, Chinese

Where in the hell

Are the ENGLISH ones PLEASE?

Pieces A4 and B6

Are supposed to fit tight

C7 and 8 are just

Not looking right.

She stares at the picture

On the front of the package

And then down at the pile

To see how close the match is

There are some extra screws

And a washer or two

She drops those in the junk drawer

Beside the Super Glue

The toy is together

Just took a few hours

She gets ready to summon

Her Santa Mom powers

She stands staring down at

The thing she'd assembled

She thought how to wrap it

And she literally trembled

It won't go in a box

It won't fit 'neath the tree...

A trash bag and a bow!

"Looks good to me!"

Onto the next task

She must make haste

Christmas morning is coming

There's no time to waste!

The scissors are flying

There's tape in her hair

There's bows on her butt

And she just doesn't care

She pours "Santa's milk" in her coffee

And eats all the cookies

A crucial step

Often missed by the rookies.

She fills the all the stockings

Even dad's, dog's, and her own

The den looks like its been hit

By a Christmas cyclone

She collapses in bed

All done with her work

But before she drifts off

She sits up with a jerk

That damn Elf on the Shelf

Has to be put away

She was supposed to go back

In Santa's big sleigh.

A few hours later

The kids jump on her bed

She's grabbed by the hand

And to the den she is led

With so little sleep

She should be a grouch

But dad hands her her coffee

And she sinks into the couch

The packages she wrapped

Late into the night

Were attacked by the kids

And ripped open on sight

The kids are excited

They scream and they squeal

And Santa Mom knows

It was worth the ordeal

The magic of Christmas

Preserved one more year

Made special by mom

For those she holds dear

Who cares if the kids

Think Santa did all that crap

With legions of elves

To get the presents all wrapped?

One day they will know

It wasn't a fat man in a suit

Who created the the magic

And gave them their loot

She may not wear red

Or fly through the night

But Santa Mom knows

How to make Christmas bright.