**As I sat down to write today, I just sort of let my mind wander. I wanted to let all of you know that I was doing great, just really busy. As I wrote realized that what I was saying may not mean that much to you guys, but it helped me sort through some stuff which is sort of what I usually do. This is not a funny post. It’s not a statement post on a socially relevant subject. It is more about me, so it might be pretty boring. I just wanted everyone to know that I am fully aware of this. This is one of those posts that I wrote mostly for my own benefit.
As you guys know, I consider myself a writer. However, I have been too busy to write lately. I have started three separate blog posts on varying subjects that I was unable to complete in one sitting, and when I go back and read what I have written, I find myself confused as to where in the heck I was going with them. There are snippets of good writing in there, but they ramble. A lot. And if *I* have trouble following them, then I am certain that you guys would be lost. I usually write sort of stream of conscious style – as if I were orally telling a story – and much like when your train of thought gets interrupted when you are speaking and you struggle to remember what you were saying, when I go back to an uncompleted post I struggle to remember what the heck I was trying to say. So I will most likely abandon those posts and start over later.
Today, I need to be cleaning the bathrooms. And folding laundry. And mopping the floor. And running the vacuum, and doing a thousand other things that I am avoiding doing because I NEED to write. Even if I end up not writing anything worth sharing, it is essential to my mental health that I just write. Most likely, I will finish a brief post here just to let you know that I am still alive and then I will brainstorm fiction ideas since the book I was writing was pretty much covered in the first three episodes of NBC’s new show “Revolution”
Ever since we moved back to Alabama, I find that I barely have time to write. My days are filled with field trips, PTA activities, family outings, entertaining friends, cooking, cleaning, and enjoying life with my family. I have LIVED more in the past 4 months of being here than I did in the 4 years that I was miserable in Texas. I am so very HAPPY here. The contrast shows in everything from how I interact with people to how I cook and clean to how I spend my free time. I do not think that I truly realized how very unhappy I was until I wasn’t unhappy anymore. I find it hard to complain about much of anything and although I am still my sarcastic, cynical self, just not a lot has happened to really aggravate me. In Texas, EVERYTHING aggravated me. Maybe less aggravates me because I am generally happier, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that the people here are more “normal” to me. Or maybe it’s because my husband, who was working 25+ days a month now works 16 days a month and so I don’t feel like I am doing everything by myself.
My kids have noticed the differences as well. They have enjoyed sitting down to dinner with both of their parents at least several times a week. They have enjoyed going places as a family. They have NOT enjoyed the fact that I no longer ignore their messes or that the layout of this house means that I see their bedrooms several times a day so they never get out of control. But surprisingly, they don't complain more than they used to. They are all so thrilled to finally have their own rooms that they are starting to take some pride in keeping them clean. I guess when they cannot blame each other, the alternative is to take credit for their rooms and how they keep them.
Since we’ve been back here, where I consider “home,” we’ve had family dinners, we’ve had friends over almost every weekend, we’ve attended at least 3 different festivals, had at least one date a month, and we’ve cut the amount of TV we watch by more than half. None of these things were conscious decisions. We did not sit down and make a plan to do more stuff or to be happier or to live more. But because we are finally WHERE we want to be, we are becoming WHO we really are. Friends who have known me for a while have noticed. They say that I am a completely different person. If that is true, I hope that my loyal readers, those who have listened to me complain for the past three years will stick around.
Don't worry, I am still a coffee swiggin', sarcasm lovin', loud and opinionated person. But I guess because I am so much happier with who I am, most things don't bother me as much as they used to. I still drink my Route 44 Cokes from Sonic, I still love my Rolos, I still dislike laundry, dusting, dishes, and all of that other domestic engineering, but because there is a real possibility that my mom, or my mother-in-law, or any number of lifelong friends could stop by on any given day, I keep the house from getting out of control. Of course, All of that means that I have less time to write, and less to write about, but that's okay. I will aim for quality over quantity (not counting this post, obviously).