This is me...

This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....

Monday, January 14, 2013

Yep. I'm Pathetic

Hey, y'all remember me?  Things have been INSANE here in Casa Caballero, and I have been neglecting my blog -- sorry!  Let's see.....what have y'all missed?  I had the flu, as did my husband and the 11 year old; the 9 year old had pneumonia, Christmas happened, oh yeah, and I got a job.  It's a freelance writing job, which means that I have finally achieved something that I have been working for -- being paid for my writing.  Unfortunately, it's not for writing MY stuff, but writing their stuff for them, but hey, a paycheck is a paycheck.  Not that I've actually been paid yet....but I'm not worried.  Yet.

This freelance thing sort of fell into my lap and stuff like that never happens to me.  Normally, the things that fall into my lap are being put in charge of a class party 3 days before it is supposed to take place.  So I am obsessing.  I want to do a good job, and I want to make sure that I am not rushing to meet deadlines.  Friday, they sent me 7 topics to work on.  I finished them all this weekend (plus the one that they had given me earlier in the week) because I was afraid that something would happen with the kids and I wouldn't have a chance later this week.  So last night around 9 PM I sent them all off to be reviewed. 

Now I am methodically refreshing my inbox to see if they have responded.  I am certain that they have other stuff to do besides read the pieces I wrote.  At least, I know that LOGICALLY. 

However, when left to my own devices, I am rarely logical.  So I am illogically obsessing over it.  In addition to refreshing my email to see if they've responded, I've also re-read every single word that I sent them at least 10 times.  I found some stuff that I want to change, but I am afraid to change anything until I hear back from them.  What if they really liked that part?  Then I start worrying that I haven't heard from them because this was the first full assignment that they sent me and they hated it and don't know how to tell me.  Sigh.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am a grown woman and that I should not be this anxious about anything.  But still....what if they hate it all and I wrote those nearly 5,000 words for nothing?  It bothers me....I'm pathetic.

I must now go and refresh my inbox again......

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would tell you to relax, but it wouldn't do any good. I am the same way about obsessing over things I cannot control. So I will say this: so what if they hate what you wrote? At least you went outside of your comfort zone and tried writing for someone else! If it doesn't work out this time, maybe you will get another offer. If not, you could come back to writing here....we miss you!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
veryverybusymom.com said...

Congratulations on the writing gig!!! That must be so exciting!!! Wow!!! A paycheck!!! I'm logging off now because I'm running out of exclamation points!!!