This is me...

This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....

Monday, May 3, 2010

Parenting = Epic Fail

So this evening, we had a total fail as parents.
We had a friend of Bella's over to play. The kids were all upstairs -- being loud and obnoxious, playing like normal while I made dinner. Now, you have to understand something about my kids; it has almost always been just us in our house -- we either didn't know alot of people, or the kids were too young to have alot of regular company. Most of the kids that they have played with over the years were their cousins, so we are all related. (Not that this fact makes up for what happened at our house tonight).
So this friend of Bellas is obviously a little girl and she is the same age (6), but all of the kids were playing together -- William the 8 year old, Bella and her friend the 6 year olds, and Lorelei the 3 year old. (Jackson was not present as far as we can tell). After dinner, they all went back upstairs and played for another hour or so until the friend's mom came and got her. About 30 minutes to an hour after she left, the little girl's mom called me and said that she was very concerned by something her daughter had told her. Apparently in the course of playing Vampires, Bella got hit in "the privates" and felt it neccessary to pull down her pants to check herself out right there in front of everyone. Well this got attention (obviously) so Lorelei felt the need to check herself out, so she dropped trou as well. I guess William thought that he was just playing along when he decided to do the same which got an "Ewwww!" from the little girl who later went home to tell her mother about it. Greeeeat. So the mom calls to tell me that she is concerned by this, and obviously, I am too. We go to try to talk to the kids about it and they confirm the story. We try to express our disappointment in this type of behavior and they honestly do not get why this is so bad. Sooooooo....short of having the dreaded sex talk with our 8 and 6 year old, how do we handle this?? I mean, up until 18 months ago, our kids were still bathing together. They come and talk to me and Gary (and to each other) while we are in the shower or while we are using the bathroom. We feel horrible that it happened, but it did. Our fear now, is that that this incident will prevent the parents from allowing their daghter over to play. I mean, I am not sure I would want to my kids to go play at a friend's house where this had happened. Arrrrgh! So frustrated!! I mean, I am happy that the mom called me -- I would hate for this to have happened and her NOT call me. But what do I do now? I feel embarrassed, no, check that, I am MORTIFIED that this happened. But it is an isolated incident -- kids being young and stupid. So is anyone reading who has advice for me???

6 comments:

marenmcg said...

I think this is more a function of the kids being so innocent and not that you all are big pervs or something. Just talk to William and tell him he is at an age where his penis stays covered when in polite company. ;)
If the other Mom can't get over the incident (not really a big deal in my book, but maybe it is in hers), there's nothing you can do about that. Just move on.

Yolanda said...

Something similar happened to us. Deveopmentally, they really don't understand what the big deal is. Perfect opportunity to remind them of when and where we remove our clothing.

I'm wondering where the other little girl falls in birth order. Doesn't sound like she has older sibs for her mother to have gone through this before. Hopefully, mom is understanding of the incident and accepts your apology.

If she's one of those moms with a "perfect" kid, you'll either have to back off of the girls playing together or get used to her "tsk, tsking" your parenting.

Counting Caballeros said...

Thanks guys! :) Yeah, this is apparently an issue of us not being ABUNDANTLY clear with our kids about modesty. The other little girl is an only child. She is super sweet, and we love having her over, but I would say that it is fair that her parents have limitted knowledge of the interactions between kids. (Granted, this type of interaction is not normal or encouraged at our house!)

Nana at Mayfair said...

Wait till you get the phone call your 10 year old brought a rubber over to his friends house! (still in the package) He said he found it in a parking lot and put it in his jeans pocket, hmmm....

This is Ma Bell by the way.

Wendy said...

Sounds to me like something that could happen anywhere with children that age. It was right of the mom to call, right of you to discuss it, but if she doesn't have the kids play together anymore than it is on her. I realize now this is an old post, so I wonder, did she allow them to play?

Counting Caballeros said...

Yeah Wendy, she did! The whole thing was embarrassing, but it worked out in the end! :0)