This is me...

This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....

Monday, October 17, 2011

I Really Need To Get A Life

I have at least 8 loads of clean laundry waiting to be folded.  My den looks like there has been some act of God tear through it -- cushions off of the couch, blankets on the floor, contents of the toy bins spread haphazardly all over the floor, a gazillion and five pieces of manila paper scattered everywhere, and two preschoolers plopped down amid the chaos watching Nick Jr. completely oblivious to the destruction around them.  The hall bathroom has toothpaste on the mirror, on the doorknob, on the floor, and on the toilet seat (I shudder when I think of how this happened).  But I emptied and loaded the dishwasher this morning and made coffee, so I am rewarding myself with a little writing time.  Despite the fact that I have been working diligently on my "Worst Case Scenario -- Surviving Flying US Airways" handbook, I needed to blog about other drama in my life.  Well, in my virtual Facebook life at least. 

There is a point in every one's life where they realize that they're tired of chasing after everyone, trying to fix everything, and trying to make sure everyone likes them.  When you get there, you walk away.  It is NOT giving up, it is just realizing that some people aren't worth the crap that they come with.  I reached that point this weekend.  I have been de-friended by several people since I joined Facebook -- even by a cousin who I thought was a close friend, but obviously didn't "get" me.  I have been on Facebook for nearly 3 years.  During all of that time, I have never been so offended by any one's behavior that I de-friended anyone....until now.

Bear with me as this story requires a little background information and set-up:  Most of you who read my blog regularly know that I am a HUGE Auburn Tigers fan (for those not in the know, this is a college football team from my home state of Alabama).  The Alabama Crimson Tide is the other state school (and my alma mater).  Both teams are awesome.  In the past 2 years, they have each brought football glory to our state by winning the National Championship -- Alabama in 2009 and Auburn in 2010.  However, Alabama is more popular than Auburn.  That's okay.  Both team's fans are really good at trash talking.  Also, cool and expected with an interstate rivalry.  What is NOT cool, is when either side's fans takes a stance of hate toward the other side, and unfortunately, it happens a lot.  (See my previous post, "Toomer's Corner" about how some deranged Alabama fan poisoned the trees at Toomer's Corner after Auburn won the National Championship last year).  We can also come together and unite for a good cause -- like when there was devastation across the entire state due to a tornado outbreak earlier this year (See the posts ""The Finger of God" and "Toomer's For Tuscaloosa").  Interstate football rivalry is a tricky thing, and unless you are a college football fan, you really won't understand it.  The level of snark between me and my Bama fan friends definitely goes up during football season.  In fact, last year I had to temporarily block some of them because their constant insults.  But, these people ARE my friends.  They generally support me and make me laugh and USUALLY if I say "Hey, not cool -- back off with the insults, they're getting too personal/snarky/mean/etc." then they quickly back off and usually respond with something along the lines of  "Sorry -- I thought it was funny."  Being the only Auburn fan in a family of Alabama fans growing up and attending Auburn's biggest rival, I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to all of the Alabama/Auburn jokes.  Heck, in a bad year, I will even crack a few myself.  What happened with the idiot that I de-friended this past weekend really had nothing to do with football, though.  But that is how it started, and if you ask him, I am certain that he will say that I de-friended him because he is an Alabama fan.  (But seriously, don't ask him -- he's a jerk and will probably attack you.)

This "fight" was so stupid, I just really do not know why it bothers me so much.  I went to high school with this person, but I haven't seen him in 20 years and we weren't really even friends then -- I knew who he was, but we never hung out or anything.  De-friending is something that I take pretty seriously -- I have no real social life outside of Facebook since I became a mom to 4 kids and have a husband who works weird hours, so de-friending on Facebook is pretty harsh in my book. (I am realizing as I type this that I have placed way to much value on my social networking and should probably try to interact with people more face-to-face....)

The person started by attacking my choice in football teams -- something that he did all last season. I am all for a little good natured ribbing, but his comments were not that. They were full of hate and disrespect towards me. I asked him politely, without my usual snark, to keep his opinions to himself and he just kept going. Several people tried to back me up in the hopes that he'd see that his comments were not "all in fun" as he was claiming. Finally, MY HUSBAND (who has posted maybe 6 things all year on Facebook) chimed in. He told him this:  "I'm not one to make a lot of comments. If you unwisely choose to continue this stream, you will not see a response from me. This is the one and only time I will comment. You are right that Ginger is an adult and can handle her own, and she has shown amazing restraint & maturity dealing with your attacks, but I am fed up with this and if this doesn't end now, you and I will continue this conversation if and when we meet in person. It's important to know when enough is enough. You crossed that point a long time ago. It takes a real man to admit when he's are you a man or not?"  (Does my husband totally rock or what??)  The guy's response was the last straw. I love my Facebook friends (even those I have never met) because they lift me up and make me laugh -- I have no use for someone that hateful and negative in my life.  He was looking for a fight.  My original post simply said "WAAAAAR EAGLE!!" because my team had won their game against Florida (a team mutually disliked by Alabama and Auburn fans, by the way).  I had not insulted Alabama.  I had not insulted him or anyone else.  I had simply expressed joy in the fact that my team had done well.  But he took it upon himself to try to pick a fight with me.

I do not like conflict.  I do not like those people who go around trying to start trouble where there is none -- I call them "Pot-Stirrers."  He was definitely stirring the pot.  The worst part was that he didn't see it.  He could not (or would not) see that he was being a jerk.  He just kept running his mouth, digging himself into a bigger and bigger hole with me and my other friends. I wanted to post this for him:

But there is no way to post pictures in your comments section.  It really bothered me.  The more I tried to make him see that I could care less what team he cheers for, that this was about his verbal attacks on ME (and ultimately on my friends who jumped to my defense) the uglier his comments got -- eventually he took a threatening tone by saying "If you want me to get nasty, I can get nasty."  As much as I dislike conflict and try to avoid it, I am plenty capable of holding my own in an argument without becoming a virtual 3rd grader.  I can be sarcastic, snarky, and cynical, but I can also defend my point and be nasty if I feel it is warranted.  But I refrained.  I maintained my cool and kept the snark at bay, but ultimately I had to de-friend him. 

But, me being me, it is still on my mind and therefore it is on my blog and now all of you get to read about the petty, stupid Facebook drama.  Usually posting it here is how I get it out of my system -- it is like the period at the end of a sentence.  Aren't you glad you follow my blog??!


Melanie said...

I'm glad I follow you blog! Vent all you need.

I don't think you should feel bad about de-friending him. We don't need others negativity, right? We need to surround ourselves by those that lift us up and make us want to be better people

I de-friended over 400 people just over a year ago. All but my siblings, my husbands siblings and two VERY close friends. I needed a break from the negativity and "keeping up with the Jones's" that Facebook can lend such a hand in.

Now I am back on but have severely limited my "friends".

I hope you are truly feeling better now. :)

Anonymous said...

Your blog just made me very happy that I am completely apathetic about sports.

It sounds like unfriending your so-called friend is no great loss. And I'll bet your husband made a few extra friends by sticking up for you.

christy said...

He was dying to get the last word..... what an asshat.