Morning Relay

Last night I couldn't sleep.  I had a lot of things on my mind that I just kept over analyzing.  I tossed and turned until after 2 AM, knowing full well that when my alarm went off at 6:30 it would be difficult to get out of bed.  I mean, more difficult than usual.  It is NEVER easy for me to get out of bed in the mornings.  If I could, I would sleep until at least 10 AM every morning.  I am not ashamed to admit that I have considered homeschooling simply because it would allow me to sleep more.  (Oh, and all of that over-analyzing did not produce one tiny bit of productive thought.  It did, however, produce 8 pages of "notes" that do nothing beyond prove the insanity).

So I did fall asleep, finally, and my alarms began going off as scheduled at 6:30 in the morning.  At least I assume that they did since there is no reason for them to not go off.  However, I have no recollection of them going off because when I am asleep I do all sorts of crazy things.  Like turn off my alarms.  Because I am such a lover of sleep and getting up early is a challenge for me everyday (not just when I stay awake obsessing over things that cannot be changed until 2 AM), I have 4 separate alarms set -- 6:30, 6:45, 6:55, and 7:00.  Usually, I hit snooze at least until 6:50 or so.  If I continue to hit snooze until 7:00, I am running late.  I can still get the kids up, get them dressed, make their lunches, and get them out the door for their ride by 7:40 or so, but if there are any arguments to referee, any spilt milk or cereal to clean up, any lost homework to find, then it causes a great deal of stress for the kids and for me that results in yelling and I really hate yelling in the morning.  But today, I did not become even semi-conscious until my husband called to make sure that things were going smoothly. 

He called at 7:36.

The kids' ride is here by 7:40.

Crap.

So I jumped out of bed like my pants were on fire and yelled at my children like a drill sergeant.  I found their socks and shoes while they pulled on their clothes like a couple of rookie firefighters.  I brushed their hair while they put on their socks and shoes.  As soon as they each had on one shoe, we heard the honk of the horn from their ride.  I motioned to the dad who picks them up in the mornings that they were coming, just give me a minute by holding up one finger to the screen door.  I dug in my purse for lunch money for them because I had no time to make lunches.  I explained that I was giving them an extra 50 cents so that they could get ice cream since they hadn't gotten breakfast (hey, it was early.  It made perfect sense at the time when I was doing anything I could think of to make everything but the clock move faster).  They reminded me that it was picture day and I took a second to acknowledge that the shirts they were wearing would suffice for the standard school picture pose.  I whipped off a note to the 8 year old's teacher asking her to please allow her to brush her hair again before the picture was made so that she wouldn't look like the chick from "The Ring."  I sent them to quickly brush their teeth while I crammed things into their backpacks and then I kissed them on their heads and sent them out the door.  The 10 year old called back to me with a grin, "That was awesome.  We've never gotten ready that fast!"  I smiled and waved casually as if I agreed with him and then I went back into the house to make coffee.

The clock in the kitchen said 7:45.

I got 2 kids up, dressed, and out the door in less than 9 minutes.  I bet that is a record somewhere. 

I think that the morning relay could be an Olympic sport.  I'd be the gold medal holder.