SOPA? PIPA? What?

Have you heard of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) that is before Congress?  Do you have any idea what it is? 

I have seen the links to articles, the pictures posted, and the hashtag updates (#Don'tBreakTheInternet) -- but honestly, I had no idea what all the fuss was about.  How bad could it be?  This doesn't really effect ME, I am not some corporation, I don't 'steal' music, I don't download movies, I don't do anything that could be considered piracy.  Besides piracy is bad and it SHOULD be stopped, right?

Piracy picture that I did not create, but found via Google Images.

Well, here is what I discovered:  SOPA will not stop piracy.  Oh, and that picture up there that I just added?  Yeah, the way this thing is written right now, I could have my blog virtually erased from the Internet because I didn't make it.  I found it on the Internet. 

Now, the guys that wrote the bill had good intentions.  Internet Piracy, as you and I (average Internet users) understand it, is a very bad thing.  It is people -- very bad, shady characters, mind you -- stealing music and movies and such and profiting from it and not crediting the source or presenting it as their own.  And I agree that it should be stopped.

SOPA, however, and it's best friend PIPA (Protect IP Act) don't really do that.  What they do, in a nutshell, is censorship.  The language of the bill, as is the norm with EVERY proposed bill that I have ever read, is full of legalese and vague, ambiguous language that could easily be misinterpreted to mean sites like Pinterest, Wikipedia, reddit, and even my beloved Facebook could be liable for everything their users post.  Heck, the way it is written now, I could be held liable for something a reader posts in the comments on one of my blogs. 

Who would want this?!!  This is OUTRAGEOUS!  Well, turns out, lots of Hollywood types would like this to pass.  They are afraid that they are being taken advantage of.  Really?  Did any of those people on the Golden Globes look victimized to you?  Also big supporters of the bill are huge corporations.  See, the way the bill is written, they could put a stop to all these little start-up companies who do what they do better, faster, cheaper, or whatever.  They don't even have to prove anything -- just accuse them to get their site shut down and their funds frozen.  SOPA puts a stranglehold on innovation.

Want clarification on that?  Check out this video that I got from Youtube, or these 2 articles that I found while researching this post:

http://www.copypress.com/what-your-world-will-look-like-if-SOPA-passes-hint-its-not-pretty

http://blog.reddit.com/2012/01/technical-examination-of-sopa-and.html


The authors above have already addressed and explained SOPA and PIPA much better than I ever could.  I am a computer idiot.  I researched "memes" today because I read an article about how they can increase blog traffic.  I am still not sure that I know exactly what a meme is, but I am pretty sure that under SOPA they'd be illegal.

Youtube would be drastically different if SOPA and PIPA were passed.

That is why Wikipedia, reddit, and other sites (including one of my favorites -- Failbook) are going dark on January 18th in protest.  A protest that the bill's author's say is "a publicity stunt."  Maybe.  But they don't want SOPA opponents to get anymore publicity.  Wikipedia going down for 24 hours?  I wonder how much homework will go uncompleted as a result of that.  One thing is certain, it WILL garner publicity.  Not for Wikipedia or the other sites though.  Just for the anti-SOPA movement.

This article lists the sites that are participating in the blackout, and some of their thoughts on it: http://www.webpronews.com/sopa-blackout-set-for-january-18th-heres-all-the-info-2012-01

And this one, where the authors of the bill address the global blackout scheduled as a "Publicity stunt": http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0112/71564.html

And, it should be pointed out that the congress that this bill is going to be presented to has NO IDEA what the bill says, what it means, how it will effect the Internet, or their constituents.  Even for themselves.  They don't use the Internet.  They have staff and aides and kids and grand kids that use the Internet, but they themselves don't have to search online for articles, or content of any kind -- they don't do anything besides Tweet and update their Facebook status.  They instruct those working for them to gather and compile information, but they have no idea what that actually involves.  I searched and read and compiled the information just in this little blog post for HOURS.

Sadly, this is sorta what happened when they were faced with this bill.

In fact, one opponent to the bill found that one of the bill's authors, Lamar Smith, is a copyright violator.  Here's the link to THAT article: 
http://www.geekosystem.com/sopa-author-copyright-violator/


Can I ask a question?  WHY does government feel the need to make every, single, piece of legislation  full of language that no one understands?  I am a fairly intelligent person, and I have looked at the actual bills -- they are almost impossible to decipher.  Why can't the language be simple?  Here is my example of an effective SOPA bill:

"Profiting from any content that is not of your own creation without permission from this day forward is ILLEGAL -- as in a FEDERAL crime -- and you could be arrested, go to jail, be sued, tarred and feathered, strung up by your toenails, and unfriended on Facebook."

Boom. Done. Maybe I SHOULD go into politics. This could be my poster:

Oops.  I guess SOMEONE doesn't want me in politics.....

Seriously though:

You Could Win!!!!

No, not really. You can't come with me. Sorry. That is what is known as a hook to us writers. I use it to hook you in and keep you reading. And look at that, it's working! You are still reading.


Although you can't come with me, there is a way that you can cash in on this whole summit thing. Kenmore and Zeno Group (the marketing team putting on this shindig) have a contest you can enter.

Here are the details:

Blogger Homework (optional but strongly encouraged):

Engage Your Readers!

- The Challenge: As the Kenmore Blogger Summit will focus on innovation, we’d like to open this to your readers with a special assignment and chance to win prizes. When tasked with the overwhelming demands of day-to-day chores, a little creativity goes a long way – and helps stretch our resources a bit. What is your most unusual, yet practical, use of a common household appliance?

- The Ask: Please ask your readers to submit videos demonstrating their answer!  You can then select and submit up to 5 of your favorites for a chance for you and your readers to win great Kenmore prizes.

- Due: Wednesday, January 18 at 9p.m. CT
- Rule: No branding visible other than Kenmore. To avoid, simple cover other brand names with tape.

- Format: Uncompressed Quicktime files at 1920x1080 16:9 are preferred. Any uncompressed file would be best, and the bigger the format the better.

- To Submit: You'll have to send it to me and I will upload it. I have to narrow it to the top 5 and then send those in.

- This contest if for US readers only

- Prizes will consist of Sears gift cards ($100, $50 and $25)

- Submissions are due Wednesday, January 18

- Video entries are the only valid submissions


I don't know about the rest of you, but my husband could go through a $100 Sears gift card before I could get the car parked outside the mall. Unfortunately, my problem lies in the fact that I don't use the household appliances in any unconventional way. Actually, I don't use them often enough in their conventional way. But maybe you do. And if you do, you could win a gift card to go buy another appliance to use unconventionally....or you could save it for Father's Day and avoid shopping for that special guy in your life.

More importantly, you'd be helping me out. See, I kind of think this is a veiled attempt to see if any of my readers use kenmore appliances. Or maybe they just want to make sure that i actually HAVE readers. Either way, it would help me out. 


So if you could, send me a video submission of you doing something weird with your appliances. Wait....that came out wrong. Send me a video of an UNCONVENTIONAL yet PRACTICAL use of your appliance. And be sure that you cover any non-Kenmore logos with tape.


You can email your submissions to me at countingcaballeros@hotmail .com

I CAN DO THIS! (Can't I??!)

So after the initial shock and excitement wore off from being invited to Chicago, I realized something.  I probably cannot wear yoga pants all weekend.  Crap.  I. Own. Nothing. Else.

At least nothing else worth mentioning.  I was going to have to go shopping.  I HATE shopping.  It sucks.  I also was going to have to do something about the gray roots that are slowly making their way to my ears.  (Seriously, I had my hair done in October when I was in Huntsville for dad's surgery, and I haven't touched it since.  It's BAD.)  And then there's the whole thing about my waistline that is expanding instead of contracting. 

Great.  I was all excited, and now I am a 13 year old girl about to start a new school.  I really do struggle with self-esteem.  See, its very easy to be snarky and self-confident when you are sitting on the couch typing blissfully away on a laptop, but when you are face to face, it's a little harder to pull off.  I could envision in my head the horror stories that would unfold in the Windy City -- me being a loud obnoxious freak in an attempt to appear "fun,"  me being all awkward and goofy in an attempt to be "quirky," me being all manic because I am not usually around other adults.....you get the idea.  On the one hand, none of these people know me so I can be whatever and whoever I want (which appeals greatly to my theatrical side and makes me want to show up with an English accent or something equally as juvenile).  But on the other hand, this is what I want to DO.  I want to write.  I want to be so damned good that Kenmore isn't the only company vieing for my attention or to attend their event.  So I need to be taken seriously.  I need to be seen as the mature, intelligent, educated person that I know I can be.  I used to work in sales.  I could do this.  Deep breath, formulate a plan.


So standing in front of the mirror, I said (yes, out loud) "Okay.  Let's see what we can do."  I took note of the hair first.  I was for sure going to have to do something there.  Since Christy, my go-to-gal for all things hair was 800 miles away in Huntsville, I called her and asked for help.  She said, "You can do this.  Go buy this product and do X-Y-Z."  Crisis (possibly) averted.  I haven't actually used said product yet, so this step could still go horribly wrong, but I was taking action.


Now there was also the issue with the weight I mentioned.  Since dropping 25 pounds in a week was not possible without cutting off a limb, I added "Buy Spanx" to my to-do list.  Also need to buy a new bra.  After I had established that my undergarments needed to be seriously upgraded, I moved onto the more obvious.


My wardrobe has deteriorated dramatically in the past 10 years.  When I was in sales, I had power-suits and heels.  As a part-time photographer, I had nice jeans and shirts.  As a stay-at-home mom to 4 kids under 10 and a blogger and Facebook addict, I have 16 pairs of yoga pants and a plethora of t-shirts -- both long and short sleeved.  Seriously, I know that there are shoes in my closet.....somewhere. But the only shoes I really ever wear are my slip on Skechers or flip-flops. I do have a dedicated drawer for Yoga pants and one for t-shirts. My wardrobe is a lot like Garanimals -- everything matches. I just grab a pair of Yoga pants (either black or charcoal gray) and a t-shirt and voila! I match and I'm ready to go anywhere -- the couch, the carpool line, the gym, the grocery store -- pretty much everywhere that I ever go. Day to day this is awesome. It really sucks when I need to get dressed up for something.  Like a trip to Chicago that has the potential to jump-start my career.


I bit the bullet and went shopping.  Of course, not to an actual store in a mall or anything, because I didn't want to spend the money.  I still have to buy Spanx and a bra, both rather pricey items by themselves.  And then there was the potential hair disaster from my do-it-yourself hair dye in a box that might require a small fortune to repair.  So I went to a re-sale shop.  I found a few pieces that I think will be acceptable and I was feeling like a million bucks.  I was ready to take on Chicago!

Or so I thought.

Then TODAY happened.

I got the list of attendees for the Blogger's Summit in Chicago next week, and let me just say that as I perused this list and stalked their blogs and Facebook fan pages, I felt the excitement and anticipation slowly drain out of me like a leaky balloon.  These people are REAL.  I mean, they write about stuff that matters.  They are often PAID to write (a lovely idea that I wish I could accomplish) and some of them are paid to speak.  They are editors, contributing editors, published authors, etc. -- in a nutshell, they are basically everything that I aspire to be but have not been able to accomplish, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how I got placed in with them.  If you think I am exaggerating, go through the list below and visit some of their sites.  That guy Mike, down near the bottom of the list?  Yeah, he was co-host on a show on the Science Channel. 





2012 Kenmore Blogger's Summit Attendees


A Busy Crockpot Mom

Accidental Mommies

Adventures in Baby Wearing

Around My Family Table

Blissfully Domestic

Busy Dad Blog

Cash or Check Only

Chambana Moms

Crazy About My Baybah

Creative Kitchen Adventures

Digital Dads

Dr. Goddess

Formula Mom

Frosted Fingers

Jessica Gottlieb

Just Another Mommy Blog

Just Short of Crazy

Look What Mom Found… and Dad Too!

Love That Max

Macaroni Kid

Mama NYC

Meal Makeover Moms

Mike Senese

Mom Advice

Mom and More

Mom Start

Mommies Playground

Mommies with Cents

Mommy Confessions

One Scrappy Mom

Our Kids Mom

Rookie Moms

Sensibly Sara

The Divine Miss Mommy

The Mommy Insider

The Night Owl Mama

The Other Side of the Tortilla

The Red Neck Mommy

Whiskey in My Sippy Cup



No, I didn't link them all here. Do you have any idea how long that would take??! I only have a week to dye my hair, buy a bra, and find my self confidence that is hiding somewhere under layers of baby fat and jersey knits! Use this opportunity to hone your Google skills.

I KNEW it! I MATTER!!!

In a very exciting turn of events, I have been invited by Kenmore to participate in the 2012 Blogger's Summit in Chicago next weekend. 

When I first got the email, I thought "This cannot be real.  Did they send this to the wrong person, or is this a cruel joke?"  The email said that they wanted to fly me to Chicago, put me up in a hotel, feed me, and show me all kinds of amazing new Kenmore appliances and get my opinion on them.  Seriously?  Little ole' me??  But a little Google research informed me that, yes, it is real.  They did this last year.  I found several bloggers who had participated in 2011.  So I responded to the email with an enthusiastic"YES!!" and I finally got my flight info yesterday.  I am more than a little excited about this.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I have an opinion about almost everything, so sharing my opinion will NOT be an issue.  Now, you might think that spending a weekend looking at washers, dryers, and refrigerators might not sound like much fun.  You would be wrong.  At least for me.  See, I am addicted to the "Expo" type shows on Food Network and other channels where they showcase all of the latest products.  I love the shows that show prototypes of new appliances, new products, all of it.  AND it's not like I will be the only one there. 

They are flying in about 20 other bloggers from all over the country.  (Squee!!)  So I will get to meet and rub elbows with a bunch of other bloggers/writers, trade secrets about generating more blog traffic, getting more followers, etc.  I may even be able to get some pointers about breaking into the publishing world (something that I would very much like to do), depending on who these other bloggers are. (I am hoping that they will send out a list of those attending so that I can get to know their blogs before I go).  And they are going to have presenters from Google+ and Wired, so there will be more good info there. 

I realized something else -- most of my favorite bloggesses are in Chicago. Moms Who Drink And Swear, I Want A Dumpster Baby, and Mary Tyler Mom among others. I think I follow about 10 Chicago Bloggers. The city and surrounding suburbs are FILLED with the wittiest, snarkiest, funniest, women I wish I knew. I find that I am thinking about the city as some kind of Mecca where all of the blogging gurus live. It is almost like this is my pilgrimage and I fully expect to come back enlightened to some blogging secrets that only those who have been to "The Windy City" are privy to.  It will me make me so much better just to be in their general vicinity, surely.

Seriously -- this is a BIG deal for me.  I never get to go anywhere.  I do not have a day-planner or a schedule app on my phone because, let's face it, what would I write in it?  "Tuesday -- wash whites & make dinner.  Wednesday -- wash towels and make dinner.  Everyday -- get up way too early, make school lunches, try to blog, act as chauffeur, referee, and tutor to all 4 kids, and make dinner..."  The husband is taking off 2 days from work so that I can do this.  I will get to go to Chicago -- somewhere I have never been -- and spend time with other bloggers hearing about and seeing things that are very interesting to me.  My degree is in English and Marketing -- this is right up my alley.

And they want my input!  Finally, someone is getting the hint that us mom-bloggers (and dad-bloggers, too) are not just people who get on the Internet and regurgitate our day.  We are intelligent, contributing members of society.  (Are you seeing this, Brian Grobman from "Anderson?")  We MATTER.  We are the ones who will research these products when it is time to get a new appliance, and we are the ones who will use them day in and day out.  So yeah, our opinions are pretty freakin' important.  And I am already working on my list of questions.

1)     When can we expect a washer that will automatically transfer the wet clothes into the dryer and turn it on?

2)     When will they invent a dryer that actually FOLDS the clothes for us?

3)     How about making a fridge that has a lock on it to keep my thieving kids out of it? (or me, when I'm on a diet?)

4)     How hard would it be to develop a line of real, working, kid-sized appliances so I could put my kids to work?

This is just a start, and reflect my general sarcastic nature, but I am sure that over the next week I will come up with a few more, even a couple of serious questions. 

I am also interested in hearing from you guys -- what would YOU like me to find out from Kenmore?  What questions or ideas do YOU have for them?  Comment here or send me a message, I promise I will do my best to come back with the answers. 

I can hardly wait until next Friday when I will board a flight bound for Chicago.  I am STOKED!

The Silver Fox Just Ain't What He Used To Be

So a few of you may remember that a few months ago I got an email from a producer at Anderson -- Anderson Cooper's Daytime talk show.  I got another one.  This is it:

Hello,

Hope all is well! Right now we were are working on a show about prenuptial agreements. We would love to hear back from you if you or someone you know has stories about these questions.

Do you have an opinion about pre-nuptial agreements, either for or against?

Do you have an opinion about couples who sign them and then regret it during their divorce?

Do you know someone whose life was impacted by a pre-nup?

We would love to hear from anyone and everyone! Please feel free to email me or call me at 212 275 8939. I hope to hear from you soon.

Brian
Brian Grobman
Anderson
1271 Avenue of the Americas // 16th Floor
New York, NY 10020

This is my response:

Hey Brian,
I do not know anyone who has a pre-nup. However, I have an opinion about
just about everything. I may try to blog about this subject. Since
opinions are never in short supply, you no doubt have a plethora of opinions
already. Should you be interested in mine, you can feel free to call me or
email me back. Good luck!
Ginger Caballero
Author, Counting Caballeros

First off, let me just say that unless you are an heiress or a prince or something, a pre-nup is a bad idea in my opinion.  I mean, what you are basically doing is saying that you expect to fail at married life; that either you or your chosen spouse isn't worthy.  I could see a pre-nup being a good idea if you were married, amassed vast wealth with your spouse and had kids, then were widowed and wanted to remarry.  A pre-nup would ensure that the wealth you and your late spouse had accrued would stay where you most likely intended it to go -- with your children.  But if you and your spouse are getting married and there are no children, there is no vast fortune, and there is not a throne involved, then you do not need a pre-nup.  Most pre-nups allow for each person to leave the marriage with what they brought into it and some division of the property or wealth that was earned together.  There are always exceptions or clauses that will make the agreement null and void, that will cause one person to forfeit their share, etc. 

At least that is what I have learned from watching lots and lots of television.

See, there is a huge gap in my friends list where all of the heiresses and royalty are supposed to go, so I don't really have any specific experience with pre-nups. 

Secondly, and more importantly, WHY is this a show topic?  Is this the same Anderson Cooper who has won awards for his reporting?  The same one known as "The Silver Fox?"  The winner of 5 Emmy Awards for outstanding journalism??  Why is he turning into Jerry Springer?

Seriously, I am curious why this highly intellegent, hard-hitting journalist who has covered stories from Beirut to the tsunami in Sri Lanka to hurricane Katrina, feels the need to "dumb it down" now that he is on daytime television.  I honestly do not know why networks believe that stay-at-home parents only want to see paternity tests, cheating spouses, and messy divorces.  I, for one, would love to see some useful stories about current events.  See, when the news is on in the evening, I am helping with homework, making dinner, and getting 4 kids in the bath and into bed.  So when I am folding laundry during the day (hey, I do that sometimes), I'd love to see a respected journalist like Anderson Cooper cover stories about the presidential candidates and their platforms (not about their sex scandal and drug abuse), or about controversial bills before congress, or about anything that I might hear about on CNN, Headline News, or MSNBC, but with more real opinions from other people just like me -- parents.  Sprinkle in a crock-pot recipe here and there, a story on how and where to do a family vacation on a budget, and an organizational tip or 2 and you'd have daytime television gold!  The sensational crap will still be there for those who want it -- Judge Joe Brown, and Jerry Springer aren't going anywhere. 

So if you are reading this Brian Grobman from "Anderson" -- fire your creative team.  Hire a few stay-at-home moms and dads to advise you and Anderson on acceptable and interesting show topics.  I told you last time you asked for my opinion that you need a panel of parent-bloggers to be on your show and that I could help you find some.  That offer still stands.

The Eye Of The Storm

Friday night I had some friends over.  Just a couple of my mom friends and their kids.  We shared some laughs, the kids were insane -- just a normal Friday night at our house.  One by one the moms went home, the last one leaving around 2am.  All the kids slept over.  Which means that I had 8 kids 10 and under spending the night.  At 4am I finally made the boys turn off the video games and go to bed.  They were all up before 9 Saturday morning.  I seriously do not know where kids get their energy, but I sure would like some.  I needed massive amounts of coffee.  And a few tranquilizer darts.  And a Valium. 

I love being the house that all the kids want to be at.  I love the noise, the laughter, the banging of feet on the stairs, the whole thing.  However, every time we do this, I am also incredibly thankful that we only have 4 kids.  Seriously, I am half nuts most of the time and I am quite certain that 4 more kids of my own would have pushed me over the edge.  It is great to have these kids, that I love like my own, to come and spend time here, but I am also very grateful when they all go home. 

That night while us moms were all sitting around the table, laughing and talking, there was bedlam going on all around us.  It became painfully clear who the moms were who only had one kid.  There were 3 of us:  me, one mom with 2 kids, and 2 moms with one kid each.  The light fixture above us, directly under the playroom, was literally jumping.  I was amused by the way the two moms of only children were freaked out by all of this while me and the other mom were completely oblivious to the noise.  We could tune it out.  The screaming, the banging, the thumping of feet on the stairs -- all of it.  We were able to carry on a conversation while the other 2 moms looked nervous, yelled up to the kids like "Calm down!" or "What's going on??!" 

It was sort of liberating, actually.  Knowing that as "easy" as I often think the moms of just one kid have it day to day, they were all keyed up by the crazy and I was able to completely relax in the midst of all of the noise and chaos....like the eye of the storm.  I think that is an excellent metaphor for a mother; specifically a mother of many.  I tried to compose a poem about mothers as the eye of the storm, but I only completed a little of it and I really needed a nap now after all of the extra kids went home.  I may try to finish it someday, but I'll share what I've done so far:

The Eye Of The Storm

The eye of the storm is a place of refuge

The eye of the storm is calm

The eye of the storm is still in the deluge

The eye of the storm is warm

In the eye of the storm is a place of comfort

In the eye of the storm you rest

The eye of the storm is in the arms of your mother

The embrace of the one who loves you best

Confessions Of A Snark Queen

I have had blog envy over the past week or so -- where everything that I have read (and I read a lot) is better than what I have written.  I am trying to remember that my blog is MY therapy.  It is supposed to be for ME.  I love to write for all of you, but this began as my outlet from the everyday grind of Nick Jr. and Pop Tarts.  I keep expecting it to be "perfect" and that is the one thing that it can never be because for good or bad, this blog is a reflection of ME.  And I am far from perfect.  So remember that...

This post is actually 3 posts that were very similar that I attempted to edit into one cohesive post. I am afraid that I have fallen short because I am quite certain that you can see the seams....apologies.  Regardless of how incoherent it may be, I hope it makes you think.

I have a confession to make. Apparently, I am a bully.

No, I don't follow people smaller than me and beat them up, and I don't belittle the smart people, or make fun of the people with weight problems, or those with less money, or any of that. I call a spade a spade, so to speak, and I have a lot of opinions. Some of my opinions are widely accepted by others, some are not. Some of them are based on commonly accepted social norms, some on religious preferences, and some on the fact that I am not just like every one else.  I am educated and I express myself extremely well (most of the time).  My verbal filter sometimes has holes that allow my random thoughts to escape my lips (or flow through to my typing hands). This is what makes me a bully.


We talk a lot in our society about honesty. 

Be true to yourself. 

Speak the truth -- even if your voice shakes. 

Don't be fake. 

Don't let others define who you are. 

But then as soon as someone says what is on their mind or speaks the truth, we call them a bully.  Or, as I was recently referred to -- the "Snark Queen." 

I am blessed with a quick wit.  When I was a teenager, this made me a popular, yet rather mean kid.  It almost always started out as a defensive weapon -- either as a way to defend myself, my friends, or someone that I thought was being unjustly picked on.  I could use my words like a razor -- they would cut down the person they were directed towards with brutal efficiency.  But the more I used my sarcasm and wit, the quicker the retorts would pop into my head.  By the time I was well into my teens, I did not have to be provoked to start spewing the sarcasm.   I would not say that I was exactly malicious it was more like I was clumsy with the use of my words.  I would think that something was funny and I would blurt it out.  Thankfully, as I matured, I learned more about the power of my words -- how they could hurt -- and I learned a little self control.  As an adult, I am able to look back on some of the things that I said to people and see how hurtful they were to an awkward teen who was still trying to discover who they were.  I have apologized to some friends that I verbally bullied and let them know that I now see what I didn't see then -- that although I wasn't trying to be, I was a bully.  I am now equally capable of using my words to wrap hurting friends in comfort, or to tickle them into hysterics.  I still have that razor sharp wit and it whirls and dances around in my head with all of the things I COULD say but know I shouldn't.  (Which is why I blog anonymously here all of the snark that I think, but do not use....)

Although there are acts that are most definitively bullying, there is no clear or definite definition for what constitutes "verbal or emotional bullying" so everyone uses this ambiguity to their advantage.  Speaking the truth, without malice has become bullying. Stating an opinion is bullying. Giving someone a mean look -- intentional or not -- has been called bullying. It has gotten a little ridiculous. Bullying is very hard to define absolutely because it is not an absolute. It is dependant upon so many intangibles like human emotions, intentions, and perceptions. What you PERCEIVE may be in direct conflict with what I INTEND.   Am I saying that bullying is okay?   Not at all. There are many instances of when it gets out of hand -- it is not recognized or it is purposefully ignored and the outcome can be tragic.   



The problem is, bullying has become a "cause," a buzz-word, a catalyst -- it has become a weapon of bullying in and of itself.  Politicians use it to bolster their campaign platforms, social advocates use it to silence the opposition, and parents use it to excuse their kids' behaviors. 


I think that as a society, we have become so focused on making everyone feel good that we have become a bunch of liars. I do not mean that I think that we should go around just blurting out every random thought that pops into our head, but I think that there is a point where "tact" becomes a "lie" and people don't seem to know what that is anymore. When I ASK for an opinion, it means that I really want your opinion -- I don't want you to lie to me. It bothers me when people say "Do you want the truth?" because it makes it seem like there are only certain times that the truth is given. Like when I ask for it.  We have become so concerned about not offending anyone, that we cannot speak the truth without fear of the repercussions.  Having an opinion that differs from the socially accepted norm and voicing that opinion out loud gets you labeled as a bully.  Saying that someone is being an idiot when they are actually being an idiot, can get you in trouble for bullying.

I hope that I am not really a bully.  But if society wants to define bullying as being honest or standing up for what YOU believe is true and right, for speaking your mind, or for openly being who you are, then I guess I am a bully.  Sometimes it is hard to hold my tongue even when I know I should.  Being a smart and educated woman with a sharp tongue that I must constantly keep in check is an easy burden to bear as long as I can dump all of the snark here.  I try to reserve my snark for those who deserve it -- teachers who pick on my kids, politicians, those who think that they're better than everyone else and need to be knocked off their pedestals. 

And yes, sometimes I proudly wear the crown of the "Snark Queen."