Ellen Degeneres Rocks The Casbah

The Ellen Degeneres Show is giving away a trip to Ireland.  I want to win.  No, scratch that -- I deserve to win. 

So I entered.

The entry process was to give all of your contact information (of course) and then to write a little piece about why you should win.  I was limited to 1,500 characters so i had to abbreviate a lot, but this is the first entry I wrote:

 

I'm the SAHM of 4 kids, ages 10 and younger. I never get to go anywhere, & I've never won anything. As a single-income, large family, we don't get vacations unless my parents take us. My husband & I did have a 3 day trip to San Antonio once. We stayed in a La Quinta with a continental breakfast, made lunch in our room & ate at the cheapest restaurants we could find. We NEED time away as a couple, & Ireland would be a dream come true.

To be honest, we'd love to take our family of 6 to Disney before we'd ever take the time & money for a couple's vacation, but neither are in the works at this point. We are the typical American family except that we are anti-debt. When you have a large family & operate on a cash only principle, big vacations take decades to save for. We tend to put our kids 1st, so no vacations for us.

I first began planning an Ireland vacation as a kid & became an avid reader of authors like James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, & the poet, Wm. Butler Yeats. I have Irish roots, but I wouldn't know where to begin looking for any family over there since all I know is that the Cline, Boyd & Dawkins families came from Scotland & Ireland a long time ago & settled in the Southern US.

Finally, I should win since I actually enjoyed Brigadoon, I love Lucky Charms, & I look amazing in green. My husband should come with me because he enjoys a good Guinness, & he works like no one I know so that I can stay home with our kids, write, & enter long-shot contests on the internet.

But then I decided that it was too sappy, too self-depreciating, and just not really me.  And every entry that they get will sound almost just like that.  So I deleted it and wrote this instead:

 You will get a lot of entries telling you how they never win anything, they’re broke & never get to go anywhere, how they’d love to trace their roots back to Ireland, & a bunch of other stock reasons why they should win.  While as a SAHM to 4 kids, 10 & younger, all of those things are true, these are the 12 best reasons I can think of that my husband I should win:

 

1)      We have no criminal record to prevent our leaving the country
2)      We both love potatoes
3)       I look amazing in almost every shade of green
4)       My husband enjoys a good Guinness
5)       I loved the movie Brigadoon
6)       We could both hold our own in a bar fight
7)       I’ve never been to Britain & base all of my opinions of Europeans on a trip to France 25 years ago
8)       I will dye my hair a beautiful auburn shade if I win
9)       I love Lucky Charms
10)     I enjoy listening to Irish music (and not just Flogging Molly)
11)     My Irish accent could benefit from an immersion program
12)     Finally, I would blog about the trip, the show, & I'd add the tag line "Ellen Degeneres rocks the Casbah" to the end of every post for at least a year.

Too bad I actually never win anything because I would love to go to Ireland, be on Ellen's show, and add that tag line to every blog post for the next year.   I'd even change the picture at the top of this blog to a picture of me with Ellen (from when she flies me out to be a guest and tell her all about my trip).
I know that I most likely won't win, but I had fun coming up with a clever way of entering.  And, I know that Ellen will never even see the masterpiece that I wrote because some producer will eliminate me before the finalists get to her.  But on the off chance that she DOES see it, I added the link to the blog at the end of my entry so that perhaps they'll read both entries, snoop around a little and see how awesome I am, and put me in touch with a publisher who will appreciate me.

Fingers crossed, because stranger things have happened.