This is me...

This is me...
I'm having a mom moment....

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Holy Pop Tarts, Batman!

Over the past 2 days, my son has thrown up at school, I dealt with a psychotic SAHM, I took all four kids to the doctor, my 2 year old is running a fever, and I've had horrible cramps.  So I haven't been very "hands on" in my parenting.  Not that this is a whole lot different than every other day, but I've been very uninvolved.....on purpose.....because I couldn't handle the minions and all of their crap as well as the raging hormonal hell that Mother Nature was inflicting upon my midsection.  Trust me, my kids are very self suficient, and they were better off with me sitting on the couch or lying in my room with the heating pad and popping Midol with a red wine chaser than they would be with me yelling at them and then turning into a blubbering idiot for yelling at them.  I become like a rabid werewolf once a month and it is best to let me curl up in my den until my "full moon" wanes. 

But last night as I was starting to feel like I might still be human, I got up and surveyed the damage.  Now, I talk a lot on here about my kids and their absolute infatuation with Pop Tarts.  Here is the photographic evidence of what less than 36 hours of me not picking up their Pop Tarts looks like:

Behind the TV

On the hutch in the dining area

On a cabinet in the den

Yes, that is in the bathroom

On MY nightstand

Bedroom floor

On the bookshelf

On the end table

In front of the TV

On the top of the bookcase in MY room

On the DVD shelf
 These are just the ones I found in my preliminary sweep of the house, I haven't been upstairs yet, and they (of course) are just the ones that they didn't finish.  I personally think that a Pop Tart tastes like a piece cardboard with a little jelly on it, but my kids think that they are manna from heaven.  There are total meltdowns if we run out, so Pop Tarts are as much of a staple in our house as milk, eggs, and bread.  You would think that with all of these Pop Tarts that I hadn't fed them in those 36 hours, but I picked up Zaxby's once, I cooked once, and we had Sonic once.  And they had cereal for breakfast one day and Eggo's for the other.  This is just them a pack of rats, or an intrusion of is disturbing because if it had been any more than 36 hours, we'd most likely have both of those.  So I was up until after midnight throwing away Pop Tarts and busting out the vacuum and the Clorox Ready Wipes because if I hadn't done that, I would have not been able to sleep.  I would have been paranoid about being attacked by some six legged creature in my bed.
Oh, and in a related incident, the minions also managed to spill an entire bottle of Resolve Carpet Cleaner on the stairs without actually hitting any of the 436 stains on the stair carpet.


Texas Yankee said...

As I was looking at your photos the one constant thought was "pop tart bites" they have bites for everything else why not pop tarts?

Counting Caballeros said...

OMG what an awesome idea! My kids would probably put them in a bowl and pour milk over them though...

Erika said...

They actually do have pop tart bites...I've gotten them at my Walmart here in Hoover.

Xinh said...

Note to self: by stock in Kellogg (or whatever company makes PopTarts).

I wonder what would happen if you introduced your kids to Toaster Struedel.

krishnareddy said...
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Counting Caballeros said...

Xinh -- Poster Streudel requires parental participation. Pop Tarts can be eaten straight from the box. Also, Pop Tarts are crummy enough, I don't want to be cleaning up the "flaky crust" from a Taoster Struedel.