I've never tried to include a video on my blog before, so I hope you can see it, but if not, go here:
And then come back and read this.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am all about some breast feeding -- I did it for a combined total of more than 4 years with my 4 kids. But seriously???? This doll disturbs me on many levels, but then I started thinking...... let's have some fun with this. Let's sell this doll as a part of a "Holly Homemaker Play Set." Everything your little girl needs to play house! Here are the enclosed play directions:
Step 1: Put the "Breast Feeding Doll" down for a nap in her "Corolle Mon Premier Nursery Doll Bed"
Step 2: Feed your "Baby Alive Doll" in her "Melissa and Doug Premium Wooden Highchair", and then set her down to play
Step 3: Get your "My Cleaning Trolley" and start to clean your playhouse until "Baby Alive" walks over and clogs the "Real Working Hand Vac" with her disposable diaper
Step 4: Stop cleaning long enough to put new diaper on "Baby Alive"
Step 5: Take Vacuum apart in attempt to unclog
Step 6: As soon as Vac is in 146 pieces, realize that you haven't started dinner
Step 7: Go to your "Step 2 Kitchen" and realize you haven't been to the "Little Tykes Neighborhood Market" and will have to figure out how to make a meal out of 3 oatmeal cookie packets, a plastic hamburger patty, and some plastic fruit.
Step 8: Go start making dinner with your "Easy Bake Oven"
Step 9: Turn around and realize that "Baby Alive" has a screw from the vacuum and is about to insert it into an electric socket
Step 10: Try to go to the bathroom, but "Baby Alive" follows you and unrolls an entire roll of toilet paper in front of you as you sit helpless on the toilet
Step 11: Clean up toilet paper and return to find 146 pieces of the vacuum are now jumbled up in "Baby Alive's" toy purse
Step 12: "Chatty Cathy Doll" gets home from school and wakes "Breast Feeding Doll"
Step 13: Sit down to "nurse" while "Chatty Cathy" drones on and on and on in your left ear and "Baby Alive" toddles around with schmutz on her face and a poopy diaper while your "Disney Princess" phone rings off the hook and your "Easy Bake Oven" timer goes off and smoke begins to pour out the front and the doorbell on your playhouse rings and its your neighbor "Barbie" who is dressed to the nines with a fancy up-do looking down her perky little nose at your "breast feeding bikini-top" and "Fisher Price Baker's Apron" and she wants to know if you can pick the toys up out of your "yard" because she can't get her Corvette out of her driveway to go meet Ken at the beach house.
Step 14: And just when you think it couldn't get any more real, your mother walks in and freaks out at the mess and starts to lecture you about how she cannot believe you are "living" like this.
Welcome to motherhood.
**Every toy mentioned here ACTUALLY exists, and sold all together would cost more than $3,000. Wow. And IF you bought them, your kid would most likely play with the box.